let sunlight in

i'm not a redhead

2011-05-13T15:03:00.000-06:00

Being a woman is a fabulous thing! Sorry boys, but hands down girls are just allowed to have more fun! There are so many options for us lassies it's ridiculous. We've got colours to put on our eyes, our lips and our nails, endless varieties of shoes to choose in all sorts of colours and heights and styles. We can wear dresses and skirts, pants and shorts, and blouses and sweaters and blazers and, and, and... being a woman is uh-mazing! If I do say so myself.

So to celebrate my lady-hood lately I've been splurging a bit on lipsticks. It's nearly getting out of hand. Well actually it's rather controlled considering the inner urging I have to buy the whole mac cosmetics counter top. It's all about the way you look at it.

But somehow colour on my lips just hasn't been cutting it. I adore being a blonde, it's my natural self, but sometimes a girl just shouldn't limit herself when there are sooooooo many options out there.

Am I right?

So I decided I'd try being a redhead for a while. Brunette just seemed too ordinary. I've been a brunette before and it's really a bit too bland for my taste and platinum is too damaging and too much upkeep, so there was only one option...

Carrot-top!

(...I mean, all the natural redhead are actually just variations of orange, aren't they?)

And.
I love it!!

Strangely enough I feel like it suits me. I am one fourth Irish by-the-way and have green eyes, so if natural red isn't in my blood it's in my skin-tone and eye-colour right? Pity some things just don't come naturally and have to be forced. Though I think it is perfectly legit to embrace those red-lock-roots from my father's side of the family and I am certainly having a bit of fun doing it. I have my whole life to be blonde, why not change it up for a while?

We'll talk lipsticks later. ;)

die symphonie

2011-05-07T20:02:00.001-06:00

My father has influenced me well in the world of classical music, a love that was passed on by his father and through the years has softly proceeded onto me. I was always the willing tag-along when no one else in the family could or wanted to go with him to the symphony. I'd sit with him when he'd pull out his records and play his favourite pieces in the family room, loud and clear enough for the neighborhood to confuse our house for a concert hall. There is nothing I enjoy more than to go to the symphony with my daddy. I think most of my adoration for it stems simply from the fact the he has such a passion for classical music. It's like those silly mathematical equations such as; I love my dad, he loves classical music, therefore I love classical music. It's that easy.

Last night my sister and I accompanied my father to to see a family-friend play piano for Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor. There honestly aren't words adequate enough to express the beauty of seeing and hearing a piece played in a concert hall, more specifically this piece. Seeing the pianist's hands float along the keys at a rate faster than the speed of sound, and with that, played flawlessly, not missing a single note. It nearly makes me wish I'd caught on to the beauty of playing an instrument for myself, and had the discipline enough to stick with it. (Maybe in my second life I'll learn to play the violin.) But to think of the hours spent ending with sore fingertips and rather aggravated audience of those who had to suffer through many wrongly played chords, I'd much prefer to live vicariously through my future children. I'm positive they'll all be child prodigies and write their first symphonies at age eight.

The realness of the sound and the passion on the faces of the musicians is so compelling. The movement of their arms and hands dance ever so graciously, with bow along the strings or fingers along the keys. Unlike most art, I don't feel as though I need to be able to make it for myself in order to enjoy it the way it should be enjoyed. I am content being an absorber of the layers of sound. I may not know the name or the key of the piece played, or be able to identify the composer but I sure do find so much joy in going to the symphony, 'specially when there is peanut butter and chocolate ice cream afterword.

letting sunlight in

2011-05-01T23:34:00.002-06:00

I've been debating with myself for months whether or not I'd get back into writing on this here blog again. I've considered starting fresh with a new url, and new blog name for ages. I just can't get myself to move on from all that 'måke memoirs' is and all it meant to me when it was important to me. Now it seems like decades since it meant anything and I'm beyond the idea of being a posh blogger who had something to share with the world, someone who had an interesting story to tell: my rose-coloured life in Europe. I felt unique in sharing that story and now I am here in the dull world I left nearly 5 years ago, and my life in Europe feels like it's fading.

Five months ago {December} I was in Germany being faced with one of the most difficult decisions I have ever been forced to make. A decision that in turn would mean that I would have to leave Germany and leave behind the life that I, though blood, sweat and tears, had built for myself. {One day, when the time is right, I'll write more about it.} I am here now in my hometown feeling at a stand-still, lost, and empty. I have longed for Germany more than ever before in the last few weeks, feeling that all who I loved, and all that I had, are just dissolving memories being bleached away by the the seconds ticking on the clock. Soon, I'll be saying; "I lived in Germany once," and that will be that. When in fact to me it's so much deeper, I left my heart there, despite it chewing me up and spitting me out, despite the many dark days I had there, there was never a time where I felt more aglow.

This is the direction I want to go with this blog. I want to be able to let light in to disperse the darkness faced in life. I want to write about things that we are all confronted with, yet we turn away from, burying our feelings thinking that we have no one to turn to. I want to slop though the muddy-negative with an eye on the positive, because there is much to be learned through opposition. Opposition has always been something that intrigues me. As silly as it sounds, I thrive on melancholy. It seems to be the only time I ever feel happiness is when I am oppressed, when the rain is pouring. When I can stretch my arms out and feel everything all at once. Give me sunshine, and I don't know what to do, I don't know how to act. Give me sunshine and I feel numb {and usually hot, swollen and sweaty, it's terrible}.

So this is me. Learning to cope with simplicity: a "boring" life. While learning to let sunlight in and how to be happy about it.

We'll see how it goes.

need I say more?

2010-11-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

Imogen Heap and I

Frankfurt | 24th November 2010

guess who came in the mail today?

2010-10-04T19:23:00.003-06:00

Am I just SO "IN" right now or what?

Not only do I fit the stereo-type of Mormon-Girl; was a dancer, got married a young chicken, has a blog, now does photography, etc, etc..

But I now totally am totally trendy and cool, cause I am cool and now own a Holga-baloga... and can finally be in the lomography scene, and I did just use the word totally twice in a sentence and therefore am triple cool.

I kid, I kid.

Ordered this little beaut. with my B-day money. I totally can't wait to just take pictures for pleasure, and get all artsy-fartsy. Digital, no matter how lovely will never compare with film. EVER. I could take some time listing why it's awesome-r than digital but I won't, cause I'm out to take some pics.

Shoot. I gotta get some film first. Mench!

weekend report

2010-10-03T13:06:00.006-06:00

A lovely weekend it's been. I am still full from the scrumptious real Swedish Meatballs I ate this evening, made by my Swedish mother-in-law. Previous to me stuffing my face Josef and I spent the last two days in Salt Lake City at General Conference.

We've been amongst several thousands of people of our same faith, hearing the words of the true Prophet and Apostles of Jesus Christ. I have to say the words are inspired of God. I always walk away uplifted and humbled, receiving answers to questions in life I have been having, comfort in things I struggle with, and a new motivation to be a better person. I have a greater resolve to reach out to others, and to be more exact in following the commandments of God and covenants I have made with Him. What a wonderful thing it is to be able to refocus my eternal perspective, realign and recommit myself by hearing the voice of the Lord through His servants the Prophets. And is not just once in a lifetime experience, but a glorious event that happens every six months and is broadcast live worldwide and visible on the web everyday! Yeah, how stellar is that?

I still have a few more weeks of girl time with my bestie, chill out time with the fam, and snuggle time with the babies... and hopefully time to go to Cali.

Hugs from Utah! See y'all my homies in Deutschland soon!
McKenna

p.s. I'm in no way trying to be all weirdo, preachy n' stuff lately. Religion, like politics can be a scary topic people prefer not to discuss. Though as you can see, I am no wise ashamed nor quiet about my religion, because it is part of me, it is my life. Feel free to ask me questions if ever you have any. And don't worry, I'm a lover not a hater, whatever your beliefs I have complete and total respect and love for you! Muah!

nearly nude fall trend 2010 | måkeup

2010-09-29T15:26:00.002-06:00

Lately I've felt like wearing a minimal amount of makeup.

. firstly, because I haven't left the house much, so what's the point right?
. secondly, due to the firstly I'm just not in the mood to get creative with my makeup, just so I can look hott while eating a bowl of cereal. Come on?
. thirdly, barely there make up is supposedly the "look" for fall 2010. See how moods are good for something such as being cool and up-to-date. Who would'a thought?

Though the dilemma of course with minimal makeup is dealing with your real liner-less eyes, and flawfull skin. Honestly I've never liked the look of mascara only on myself, but somehow I've found the way to defeat it.

The key is even skin tone, lightly rosy cheeks, long lashes, and defined brows.

your skin routine should be; a sheer moisturizer then taking a light medium coverage foundation to smooth over those rough patches. I usually apply with my fingertips or with a small concealer brush to those silly red dots that appear over night, and to my eyelids and under eye bags.

your cheeks should be; covered with a shimmer-free blush in a soft pink or coral depending on your skin tone. Apply lightly to the apples of your cheeks, just beneath your cheek bones. There is a common misconception about applying blush to the cheek bones... which leads most women to skip over blush altogether because it does nothing for them. Blush is not a high-light, it's a low-light and adds to the conture of your face, apply it to the deepest part of your cheeks while drawing the color towards the apples. The key to blush is really all about the placement.

Blush also does wonders in disguising redness and small blemishes. Those pimples may still look horrible even after you apply foundation, but once you add blush it disguises those red marks right away.

for your eyes use two tones of shadows; a highlight and low-light. In this case I used the avon true color seashell-duo of sand & coral (it's old, so it may not be available anymore.) Refrain from shimmer, it is anything but "au naturale" and actually gets into wrinkles and creases and enhances them. To keep looking young and fresh use matte shadows. I applied the light white-pink all over and used the darker pink in the crease only.

for the brows I used a light brown shadow with an angled brush to fill in the areas my hair doesn't grow as well, and used a clear mascara to help them to stay in place. Apply the mascara in an upward motion, molding the brows into a nicely arched shape. They will settle and the hairs that stick straight up will relax.

and oh, the lashes. The lashes are definitely the most important in a minimalistic makeup look. So it's ok to cheat on these; I applied my regular brown mascara then added a few individual duralash lashes from ardell. They are great for naturally adding some length to your own lashes.

for the lips I used e.l.f. lip gloss in 'pink kiss.' Let me just rave about the price for a sec. $1... Uh, hello look at that price!! I'm all for it!!! It has 15 spf and is suprisingly great quality.

And that's it! Simple, quick, and natural. This look also looks good with more dramatic lips. Try a nice coarl or deep red.. mmmm... that'd look delicious.

found 'em!

2010-09-17T11:20:00.000-06:00

naturally via urban

THE perfect wingtip oxford heels EVER!

Gulp..

It's like me at 15 finding the most glorious picture of Orlando Bloom.

I may or may not be tearing up at the moment.

the cookie project | muck's famous peanut butter cookies

2010-09-03T17:26:00.002-06:00

Upon my being here in Utah with my family, to my suprise 3 of my siblings at 3 spontaneous times, have requested me to make my peanut butter cookies.

Now rarely do I ever claim any recipe as mine cause I usually get it off of allreceipes.com or out of a RS cookbook my mom gave me. But these. I've worked hard for these. Peanut butter cookies are the most sensitive little bugger's around. And I ain't no easy-to-pleaser, I very particualr about how I like 'em. I like 'em soft n' chewy, no nuts added, never ever crunchy or hard, and in no way can they crumble even after 5 days in a tupperware box. Got it?

When I was about 12, I'd watch my sister Amy make chocolate chip cookies. She'd get requests for her chocolate chip cookies. People would groan pleasureably with every bite. "So soft, so scrumptious," they'd say. And what did I have? Nadda. I stood there gawking with envy. The urge to create My Very Own Genre of cookie for myself was eminent, nessesary. I couldn't deal with the competition. I needed my own cookie, I needed power in the cookie making rhelm. I needed dominance over all other cookie maker's in a flavour none could beat.

Thus "Muck's Peanut-butter Cookies" were born.

(Sidenote: Muck is the nickname my brother Taylor gave me, I think the double meaning is hilarious.)

For the sake of keeping these cookies mine. I'll give you the key, as in the original, unaltered recepie from a 1981 Better Homes and Gardens Cook Book, you'll just need to find the right lock to make the recipie your own.

1 1/4 cups all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup butter or margarine

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Oven 375 F

The recipe says "it makes about 48" but I don't know who they are fooling. I can barely get two baker's dozen out of these ingredients. I guess if you were making dime sized, I can see how that would work. Just a hint of how accurate this cook book is.

The original will turn out good, but you'll see immediately as you make the batter a few of the changes that necessary to be made. Most things are the same, nothing is less, but there is defiantly MORE of some ingredients.

Good luck!

Oh, and did I tell you I love my mom's kitchen aide? How on earth do I survive in Germany with a simple wooden spoon?

pasty is beautiful

2010-08-06T08:42:00.003-06:00

Ever since High School I have been taking pride in white skin. (FYI: I went to high school before Edward ever existed, and girls were competing on the bus for the tannest skin. You can imagine my social stance... It's alright though, I wasn't "popular" anyway.)

While all the other girls where flirting with Cancer in their tanning beds, baby oil, and bikini's, I did and still do everything to avoid the sun. You can call it SPF 70+.

Maybe because my Grandfather died of a life long battle with Skin Cancer, maybe because I don't want premature wrinkles, or maybe frankly because I think unnatural, forced tanned, did I mention orange skin, is uhgleh.

Or what do you say?

As I was reading the history of tanning on style.com yesterday and concluded: I am definitely going to stick with the look of "omnipotent deity," "beach babe" just can't compare to that.

So if you're in with me...

here are some tips on how to lighten your skin naturally, and I'm not talking about Michael Jackson type lightening here, I'm talking about evening the skin tone, fresher, lighter; beautiful skin. So stick with me...

buttermilk
In the days of Renaissance, women would soak themselves in Buttermilk to lighten their skin. Buttermilk is most commonly used to lighten freckles.

• On ehow it suggests: In a small mixing bowl combine six tablespoons of buttermilk and a half teaspoon of grated horseradish. Do not use buttermilk that is extremely cold. It should be cool to room temperature.

Lightly oil your face (or the area that has freckles) with the buttermilk mixture. Leave the mixture on for twenty five to thirty minutes.

Wash the buttermilk mixture off with warm water. Rinse the entire face.

If desired, oil face (or the area that has freckles) again lightly with the buttermilk mixture and repeat the process.

ehow.com

lemons
Lemons have natural fruit acids that help not only to clear acne blemishes on skin but also has bleaching agents in part to help lighten skin tone.

• You can make a natural skin lightening cream by combining equal parts lemon juice and egg whites. Heat in a small saucepan over low heat until the mixture thickens. Place in a low tub or jar, label and keep in the refrigerator. Apply directly to the skin and allow the mixture to remain on for 15 to 20 minutes before rinsing. This treatment may be used daily until the desired skin color is achieved, and works very well to remove a sun tan.

• Use lemon to lighten skin naturally. Soak one slice of lemon in ½ cup whole milk for about 15 minutes. Remove the lemon slice and pat the milk onto the skin. Leave overnight, and wash the skin thoroughly in the morning. This is an easy way to lighten skin naturally, and can be used nightly, as desired.

I would also try soaking the slice on lemon in Buttermilk instead of whole milk, it's like a double whammy, for natural bleaching agents.
ehow.com

oatmeal

helps exfoliate the skin removing dead flaky skin buildup and exposing the fresh layer beneath. Oatmeal also contains natural bleach. Use as a paste mixed with milk or butter milk. Make like you would oats for breakfast, let cool and apply to skin. Let dry then apply a warm wet cloth to face and gently rub off in circular motion.

& sun screen every-single-day

Ain't no doubt about it. Whether or not you plan on going into the sun, always add sunscreen to your morning makeup regimen. Tanning-Prevention is the best way to get and even light skin tone.

there are many more home remedial methods but these are the most prominently used and successful. For more ideas just google search "how to lighten skin"

p.s. want to know a funny fact?.. pretty much all my nieces and nephews, ages 2-6, are tanner than me (they take swimming lessons, and are in the pool pretty much every day...) the only one who beats me in whiteness is 3 month old Reagen. :) At my brother's pool party the other day my siblings were all making fun of my lily-whites (shown above) though I still stand strong for pasty, porcelain skin.

What won't you give up?

...Even after being "shunned by society" for it?

down by the river-side

2010-06-29T13:25:00.020-06:00

claire and micheal came to visit.

This was the last day for both them and I in Frankfurt for the summer.

The morning was spent peering at the skyline in the heights of goethe turm. Lunch at mario und lino eating scrumdiddlyumcious pizza. Döner for dinner, and dessert along the main river at sunset.

A nice little au revoir to Deutschland for the summer. the next time we'll all see you, you'll be cloud-covered and cold with crisp orange, gold, and red leaves with thousands of hazelnuts adorning the cool wet grass.

Mmm...

2010-06-29T10:44:00.000-06:00

...nothing like a good ol' Turkish Döner on a bench at Uni-Campus Bockenheim, to celebrate the last day in Ff a/M.

the Cookie Project | THE BEST chocolate chip cookies

2010-06-28T11:41:00.001-06:00

I have found the secret to popularity,

in three words:

chocolate chip cookies

Good ol' american traditional, chocolate chip cookies.

I started making 'cookies for chior' to get more people to come... saying it worked is an understatement; they're in the process of ordering more hymn books.

But it doesn't stop there, I made these babies as a reward for my Primary kids (aged 4-12) last night and some how not only the kids were keeping within my vicinity after the meetings, but pretty much everyone else was too. Some even came looking for me, hunting me down, tackling me, threatening me, gnashing of teeth, throwing tantrums, and well ok not that. But I did hear a lot of begging and pleading, and some really nice compliments. So as the chef I'd have to in my humble opinion say; these quite simply are THE BEST chocolate chip cookies EVER, hands down! Chocolaty, soft and chewy, melt-in your-mouth, goodness-es.

1 cup butter (250 grams)
1/3 cup shortening or pflanzenfett
1/2 cup white sugar
2 1/2 cups (american) brown sugar
4 beaten eggs
4 tsp. vanilla *you can even use the German 'vanillian-zucker' packets and they still turn out just as good
mix together until creamy

in a seperate bowl mix
3 cups flour
4 tsp. (american) baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt

then add 2-3 more cups of flour until dough is moist but does not stick to your fingers
then add chocolate chips (of course) to your liking.

bake at 350 (175 c) for 8 minutes. DO NOT OVER BAKE.

eat n' share.

get really fat. get everyone else fat too.

you can't always be torn in two

2010-06-09T11:01:00.002-06:00

I fail. April and May were bomb months for blogging and I have about 5 drafts in my list of posts. I've tried, I've tried, but inspiration is lacking these days and I just don't have anything exciting going on, or much giving me joy. Sure I have a lot stressing me, but who wants to hear me whine about that, I sure don't want to hear it anymore.

Though, update you I shall, since I feel like I have an obligation to keep record of my thoughts and feelings at this time, and some good news (though not yet finalized news) to share with you, but first comes the not-so-good news.

I will no longer be a pre-school teacher come June 30th 2010. My life seems to be leading me in a different direction much sooner than expected, as my contract will not renewed at the school I work at. I'm shoulder shrugged now as I think of what I am going to do in Germany for the next year while Josef finishes school... but I am sure a window will open.

On to the good news:

Since, I will not have to be per-say, in Germany, for the start of the new school year. The only other plausible place to be is; on a beach in Greece, in a cafe in Paris, or in Utah with family. And seeing as the funds for laying around on the beach in a country that is bankrupt, or reading a classic love story in a rather expensive city, have now been cut off, it looks as though I will finally be going back to my homeland in July, and staying until the beginning of October. Well, I mean, it wouldn't suck... It's been only about 2 years since I have seen my family. So, in all actuality I can't even contain my excitement. Not only do I have 4 new babies to meet, many friends to hang out with, and new friendships to establish (beyond childhood memories and blog world contact); I really need this!

I need it so much I could get on a plane this instant, dropping everything, just so I can; taste the tacos at Cafe Rio, smell the sent of an American grocery store, roll a shopping cart with 2 fixed wheels while looking for euro-fashion at Target, drive a car to get somewhere, eat a 1/2 GALLON of Breyers, take a road trip to Disneyland, walk down the street and get starred at in bewilderment, see the sunshine and not expect a week of rain or gray skies to follow, reminisce my childhood, buy good quality, cute & cheap shoes, get tap water for free, speak in English and not be embarrassed to do so, go to the mall and be amongst hundreds of people instead of thousands. I can't wait to see family, to be near friends. I want so badly to be near young married couples of my same faith, to talk about marriage and life. To feel like I fit in.

Despite the love I have for my home, I know it will to be weird to return. I know I'll feel emptiness. I'll find that everyone has changed, just a little bit, enough to remind me that I wasn't there. I didn't see the first time that new shirt was worn, or when that new road was built. I won't be part of the most recent talk about new movies and TV shows, or laugh about what happened last month. I'll still be eating with fork and knife, still expecting paper, plastic, and restmüll waste bins. I'll be shocked with the first swear word I hear, or conversation I fully understand on the street. I'll still walk to the store with fabric grocery bags, and a euro coin in my pocket. I'll be disappointed by the bread, by the yogurt, by fact that people just don't know that I don't fit in with this lifestyle anymore. It's not routine for me to shop at Costco, to not hear the tram go by every 10 minutes, or have someone obnoxiously greeting me with a "Hi, how are you today?" when I walk into a store, to be around loud sometimes overzealous people, and to not be scolded for walking in the bike lane. The license plates will seem so small and the cars so big. The variety of chips and treats will be so overwhelming. I can probably never eat a handful of skittles or suck on a jolly rancher without feeling sick. I won't be hearing church bells off in the distance, or sirens that say "zu spät, zu spät!"

I sometimes feel torn in two. It's hard to feel content or settled in any place I live now, because something or someone, will always be missed. This is the price payed for the life I love. The sense of inner peace I have in Europe is more than I can express to anyone, though there are days that I hate it, just as much as I love it. The feeling that this life isn't really mine; because I wasn't born here, because I don't speak the language fluently, because I can't be entirely independent. I can't always be town in two, I will have to be one and whole for many years. I have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. My part in this story will go on. I just hope that I can feel that thriving in life, rather than just merely striving soon.

Eltz Burg

2010-06-05T12:24:00.001-06:00

- beautiful train ride along the rhein river
- through a quaint and colourful little german town
- hefty, yet unbelievably gorgeous hike
- emerging out of the forest into a vast meadow
- walking on a straight path, fields of flowers and wheat on both sides with one tree every few meters lining it
- back into the thick of the lush of it all
- and there it appears, a wonderous caslte in all it's glory accesorized by a big yellow crain. lovely. thank goodness for photoshop... you didn't even notice. :)

Did you always want to do photography? What is your dream job?

2010-06-01T11:20:00.001-06:00

I've known photography since I was in High school.

My dream job is to be a mother/photographer/world traveler/children's book illustrator/writer.

Go ahead, ask me anything

niddapark

2010-05-25T09:38:00.001-06:00

© måke photographie

the weather is back to being perfect. may was much less of a may than anticipated since april was gorgeous. we even had to turn our heaters on high for a few cold nights. hopefully the weather is here to stay, we always seem to pay for one week of sunshine with four of dreariness.

we spent this past sunday afternoon in the long over grown grass of the niddapark, embracing the beauty that is germany. these are the days that i belong here, napping on blankets listening to birds and reading, sleeping, and picture taking.

måkeup by måke

2010-05-24T08:30:00.003-06:00

I'd like to tell you about my new {real life} friend Errissa. Say what? Someone in the flesh and not thousands of miles away who I only just added on facebook. Someone who I can actually hang out with without being connected to the internet.
This is a mighty fine step in my social life, I think we should all celebrate!

Oh, and it gets even better; her apartment is right around the corner, like seriously, right around the corner from mine.

Well anyway, she's totally a beauty, and we both totally love makeup so we've spent several late nights being all girly by watching girly movies like 'she's the man,' and other chick flicks while doing each others makeup. Which got me to thinking... this is something I have always liked to do, sort of a natural at it ;) ha... spoken by a survivor of the strictly-white-eyeliner-only teen years... let's just say I've learned a lot since then, and frankly just thoroughly enjoy putting on makeup and doing makeup for others. Which is why if you go to my photo blog you'll see that I added something new: måkeup by måke. And now offer måkeup design! Because I want to. Because I like to. And because I think you'd like it too!

Here you'll find 3 looks that I created on her.

Look 1 | Summer Sun

eyeshadow

mac goldmine

mac embark

mac antiqued

clinque 01 sugar sugar

eyeliner

mac nehru

blush

alverde 01 apricot

bronzer

lips

mac lipglass in viva glam V

duwop venom gloss in buttercup

Look 2 | Aqua-fushian

eyeshadow

mac jewel blue

mac plum dressing

mac tailored {eye kit}

eyeliner

mac nehru

blush

mac tippy {hello kitty collection}

lips

mac soar (liner)

mac snob

accented with mac faux and mac cranberry (eyeshadow)

Look 3 | Black and Gold

eyeshadow

mac paint pot in blackground

mac shadow in patina

blush

alverde 01 apricot

lips

mac liner in mahogany

mac lipstick in diva

mac lipglass in viva glam V

Told ya, she's purrty!
{Oh yes and, I obviously had white balance issues, for the photog's who noticed: ain't that embarrassing!? :\ Totally embarrassing.}

my new theme song

2010-05-21T13:00:00.003-06:00

One track mind like a goldfish
Stuck inside my petri dish.
I can't breathe and I can't smile
This better be worth my while

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher
I'll climb and I will wonder why
I got dark only
To shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

Burn burn burn bright

Forgo families forgo friends
That's how it started and how it ends
I can't open up and cry 'cause I've been silent all my life

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher
I'll climb, and I will wonder why
I got dark only
To shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh it's a reasonable sacrifice

Burn burn burn bright
Burn burn burn bright

Ooo I get dark
Ohh and I'm in hell
I need a friend
Ooo but I can't yell
Yeah I'm no good
No good to anyone
'Cause all I care about
Is being number one

Shine
Looking for the golden light
Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice
Sacrifice

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher
I'll climb, and I will wonder why
I got dark only
To shine
And I'll light up the sky
Stars that burn the brightest
Fall so fast and pass you by
Puff like empty lighters

I feel numb most of the time
The lower I get the higher
I'll climb, and I will wonder why
I got dark only
To shine
And I'll light up the sky
Stars that burn the brightest
Fall so fast and pass you by
Spark like empty lighters

Dum dum dum duh dah da

This song is incredibly empowering. it's exactly what i need right now. change is happening whether i am ready for it or not. more like an answer to a prayer. i don't really know what i am going to do with it, though the goal is to do what i want with MY life. No more waiting for my turn! No more easing through the years to put someone else through school and put my dreams underneath my pillow. I gave up a lot of things moving to Germany, made incredible sacrifices, and have been through more than I thought I could handle, but something (well more like the ultimate SOMEONE) is telling me it's time. My time.

to shine.

Doesn't mean i'm not scared
of the future
just a small step in the darkness
hopefully the light will follow

Forrest James Ehat

2010-05-10T13:06:00.002-06:00

I'm desperate for some sloppy kisses from my fow-est.

I am missing my Forrest-bubby more than ever lately. Well, look at that face.... what's not to miss about those wrinkles and puppy-dog eyes?

A few weeks ago I had a nightmare about him. I dreampt that I forgot to feed him for 4 days in a row. I woke up in a panic. It was one of those dreams that stays with you for days.

Almost like a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past.

He was such a huge part of my adolescence. Although, I can't say that when it came my turn to feed him that I was the most responsible of teenagers. It may or may not be true that I did or did not feed him, on occasion.

And now I am paying for it.
With guilt.
Years later.

In my subconscious none-the-less.

But oh man how it made me miss him... SO MUCH!!

I was on the phone with my mom the day after the dream and when it came time to say goodbye and the 'I miss you' part of the conversation came...

I broke down.

This time it was more-so on his behalf. (Miss you too Mom!) But this kind of miss really sunk deep.

He may not be around for too much longer. He's already in his late 50's. And to know that I haven't taken part in the past 3 years of his life...

It really hurts.

.....

I love you fo-fo!
Please forgive me for being a distracted teenager, and for not always being there for you.
You mean the world to me, bubby.

5 years

2010-05-08T08:53:00.001-06:00

My 5 year high school reunion is coming up at the end of this month.

I won't be there.

Well, why would I want to be? I hated high school.

I am in the middle of writing back to my pen-pal. Did I tell you I have a pen-pal? I didn't, I know I didn't, I meant to write about the whole thing a while back but... didn't. Well anyway, nicole addison hooked us up with her pen pal project on her blog: 'my teacups in peony' It's super cool to have a pen-pal. But that's another story for another day. My point is that one of the questions we have asked each other is: "What were you like in Jr. High and High school?"

The question really got me to thinking back to what kind of person I thought I was then, and what kind of person I thought I was then now, with my grown up perspective and all. ;)

It's very interesting to look back to what I was like in Jr. High & High School.

In one word I was lost.

I had no identity and I couldn't really be classified. I was always part of some dance team or another but never really fit in nor had a solid group of friends. I was an A-B-C-D and F student. It just depended on my interest in the class and of course if the teacher made it interesting or not.

In Jr. High, I wasn't popular but really wanted to be. I gave up a lot of my standards just to come off as cool. I was mean to a lot of boys and extremely flirty and somewhat sleazy (well it fit with the type of school I attended, it wasn't high quality what-so-ever.) I had a lot of girl enemies for no good reason at all. I tried to keep to myself, yet stood up for myself if necessary. I just supposed I was magnet for female bullies or maybe I just came off as "stuck up" when really I was just entirely insecure. That all changed in 9th grade when I reconnected with my 2nd grade best friend and gave up "being cool" and wore pajamas to school every single day. We were both obsessed with The Lord of the Rings, and therefore head over heels in love with Orlando Bloom.

In 10th grade I made the school's modern dance team. It was the year I discovered my love for photography and lost my best friend (again). Our friendship didn't recover until my 18th birthday; the summer after we graduated. Life was so real back then, I had so many emotions. Crying was a regular thing. Making new friends was hard, though I didn't really make any effort.

In 11th grade I was on the yearbook staff and eventually made friends with a group of boys on the hockey team, it was easier with them, less competitive and more carefree. Though because it was so carefree and I was "just a friend" I was more of an irregular friend and only hung out with them when their real love interests weren't present. I tried to hide my feelings if ever I had a crush on one of them, though due to my Leo nature the truth would be revealed and then things would get awkward swiftly.

(see the necklace? Uh, yeah LOTR fanatic!)

12th grade I began a serious relationship. I don't even really remember how it began. That got me though the loneliness. I finally had someone who gave me his full attention.

I graduated. Made it by the skin of my teeth, having to make up for a couple of failed science classes in Jr. High all because I detested the teacher. Unbelievable that I somehow survived math, which I was worse at. Who cares, I was done and ready for a new adventure that didn't involve any of those people who I never cared about in High School.

I ended up getting a job at a Target Photo lab. I had no interest in college yet. I still wanted to figure out my life, my future. I still wanted to travel, I wanted to get out.

When my best friend and I finally reconnected she was already in the process of connecting with families on a few different au-pair web sites. This peaked my interest. Humm... live in a new country for a year, just to babysit kids. I can do that. I'd dreampt of England since Jr. High and this was just the opportunity I was looking for. I ended up in Germany, it wasn't England but it was close enough. My first Sunday in Germany I met the prince who saved me from my little Cinderella story.

And am now living a happily-ever-beginning of my ever-continuing-after.

My pen-pal wrote; "It's funny, because in so many ways I feel very much the same as I was back then, and in others ways I feel so very different."

After getting married and moving so far away a lot of the fears and insecurities I had, just went away. Maybe because I had bigger concerns; marriage, language, real {completely foreign} life or maybe because the european lifestyle fits better with my temperament, who knows. Though I still have a lot to change; I am still bad a making friends but I feel more at peace with who I am, with my body, and with my beliefs. I feel like I finally know myself the way I wished I could have back then.

I am so glad to be where I am at in life right now. I feel like my life now, really makes up for all of those years of being un-cool. I may not be the stars that Allison Holker, and Chelsie Hightower are but seriously... who else from my High school lives in Europe... permanently? Who in my high school married a hot Swedish man who knows 3 or more languages? Uh, no one. Who's the cool one now? Ha ha ha!!! I kid, I kid.

I am so happy I have someone who loves me and my imperfections. Who thinks it hot that I am an American. Who loves my hips, and the silly things I do. And even though we don't have closets, iphones, american tv, mexican food, and live in a 'tiny' (according to U.S. standards) apartment. I am so happy with my life!

motherhood

2010-05-06T06:11:00.000-06:00

I guest-posted on 'i love you everyday' yesterday.

What a wonderful opportunity it was to write about something that I look forward to so much. I am so grateful that I get to be so involved with motherhood right now, every single day. It's like a get to have a little pre-training before I actually do the real thing.

Never thought I would or even wanted to work with kids as much as I do now, though I am loving every minute of it.

Thank you Kali for the opportunity.

ellie obsession + thoughts on photography, life & blogs

2010-05-03T13:00:00.000-06:00

love.ing

.Ellie Goulding more and more everyday.

I woke up today singing one or both of these songs, well not only because I listened endlessly to them on Saturday night, but more simply because I am in friggin' LOVE with her voice and the fact that she totally has the 'McKenna Element' in all of her songs!

love.ing .the satisfaction I get when I look at the work that I am so blessed to be able to create.

I get to meet so many people through my job and through church and it's such a blessing that they allow me to capture beautiful memories of them & for them. Making photography makes me happy!

love.ing .Sunday's more than ever.

Sunday is my absolute day of rest. I have made it a priority to truly keep it that way and never work on anything other than my relationships on that day. Due to the limitations I give myself it is always the best day of the week, imagine that . I love my ward SO MUCH! I LOVE getting all dressed up and girly. I love that I get to spend it with the LOVE OF MY LIFE! A day with no stress and no worries of the world. The only day of the week I actually cook a real meal and the day I make life-long friends.

We have also had the missionaries over to our house more often. They are so inspiring and dedicated to the work. They have been a great motivation to me as I have been doing the best I can to share my love for the gospel and deep love for my Savior with everyone I know. Not because I am an annoying, pushy religious person and think everyone needs to be saved or that every one else is the devil or something, but truly only because I have so much joy in my life because of the way that I lead it and strive to be spiritually sound and obedient that I desire the blessing that I have for every one I know. Really who wouldn't want to have such a clear understanding of who they are, where they come from, where they are going after they die, and know they can be sealed to their families FOREVER!? I am so happy I know that I am a literal daughter of God I only wish that every one knew that they are too.

love.ing .facebook & blogs. As much I hate them, I love them.

I am so grateful that I can stay so connected with the people I love, the people I want to get to know better but haven't had the time to really get to know, the people I used to know but did not get a chance to know, and some people I have never even met before but totally want to be real life friends with.

Over the last little while I've really needed an attitude change towards people in general because for the longest time I been totally shy (well more so self centered) and anti-social. I've had such a desire to have friends but I didn't want to get out of my shell. I wanted people to feel bad for me and to see my needs that I didn't realise that I could actually be the answer to someone else's prayers, rather than someone else being the answer to mine.

I really think the change has come from when I wrote the 'blogs are depressing post' and got so many wonderful responses from it. Since then I have really tried to make my blog better and have started to use it as a way to make new friends and a way to motivate others (well maybe). Not a day or week goes by where I don't hear from someone who I haven't spoken to in a while or have never met and they always have such nice things to say and really help me to keep going, and keep posting.

Though there are times when I still feel down and overwhelmed, I see the real life in so many of the blogs I choose to read and find that I am not the only ordinary person out there. That is why I really make it a priority to not post anything unrealistic. I get so sick of reading (or skipping over) these dreamy posts with pictures of gorgeous skinny models in amazing clothing, or posts with lists of links to incredibly amazing photography-celebrities. As much as I care(n't) about what some girl finds interest in or is inspired by, it doesn't inspire me but rather makes me feel totally worthless and incapable. You know those kind of blogs I am talking about, right? Un-like them.

love.ing min Josef
I definitely don't tell him enough.

love.ing. .you.

and the fact that you care and read and comment, or even if you don't. Just knowing you are there and can relate to me in one way or another is more than I can ask for.

Wishing you a love-ful week!

New Music April | Beirut

2010-04-21T16:20:00.001-06:00

Have I told you lately that I am utterly obsessed with french music right now?

Well, I so am. I've been listening to the Amelie soundtrack non-stop for about 2 weeks. I'm crushing over the creative talents of the french and could not be more in love with the accordion than I am right now.

It's a good thing I have the most amazing French pastry of a friend. After all she just happens to be French. And she recommended this half american half french band to me...

Uh, Hello AMAZINGNESS!! And seriously what could be cooler than the great filming and that snazzy dance combo about mid-way through. Since I am appreciated of all these things therein I just had to share.

Don't thank me thank Clemence. She's a superstar!

the miracle of life

2010-04-18T11:33:00.000-06:00

Reagen Michelle

The newest love of my life.

born on April 15th at 12:35 pm. 9 lbs., 20.5 inches long

Don't you just want to hold her?

I do.

...More than anything.

Congrats Sis. I love you and miss you and miss you terribly, can't wait to meet little Reagen.

today I shall daydream

2010-04-15T12:36:00.001-06:00

reality ain't really my favourite thing right now. I think I will stick to daydreaming for a while...

Right now I am:

sitting in the waiting room waiting for my sister to give birth to her 2nd child an her 1st little baby girl.

stepping into a my daddy's warm car after eating a delcious beef enchlada while talking about LOTR, life, the gospel, and classical music at Miranchito.

cuddled up in a sleeping bag in a tent on the trampoline with Rachel talking about Orlando Bloom, the guys we are going to marry, and what it will be like when we live in Europe together

sitting on a stool in my kitchen watching my mom make chicken and broccoli while she tells me about collage, meeting my dad, and what life was like when they were newly weds.

riding down the canyon with techno music blasting, the windows rolled down, feeling the warm sunset air

playing with my nieces and nephews hearing them giggle as I tickle their tummies

the Cookie Project | laura p's parmesean bread

2010-04-14T11:45:00.004-06:00

I received Laura's cookie project entry the day after I started the cookie project. Wow! I couldn't believe it! I didn't have the highest hopes that people would actually participate... but to see that email in my inbox... Ah, what a wonderful feeling. I was so touched at how such a simple idea gave someone else inspiration and moved them into the action of service. I never thought I could do something like that for someone else.

I hope many of you readers are looking forward to participating in The Cookie Project, but if not, I am so happy that I was able to share it with at least one person. :) It doesn't even have to be a batch of cookies, you can make anything with love to make a difference in someone's life.

Thank you so much Laura for your kind words and this wonderful recipe! I CAN"T WAIT TO TRY IT OUT!!! I am a definite bread lover... I mean seriously just look, who wouldn't be after this::

LAURA P's Parmesean Bread:

I put in a mixer bowl:
3 c. warm water
2 T. yeast (I use SAF brand)
1/3 c. sugar

I let that sit 10 minutes, then mix into the water:
1 1/2 T salt
4 T oil
2 T rosemary

2 T minced garlic

and freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Next, I add:
6 1/2 c. flour, one cup at a time

I set it aside to raise for 1 hour.

Then I divide the dough into 2 equal parts, shaping one into a rustic, imperfect loaf, and dividing the second again into two equal parts, shaping them into loaves.

I place them side by side on cookie sheet prepared with cornmeal, cut diagonal slashes in them with a sharp knife and then I cover the pan with a cloth while the oven preheats to 375 F.

When the oven is heated, I place the bread in the oven and let it cook for 30 minutes until beautifully brown. It served delightfully with our corn chowder soup for dinner.

Then I dropped it off at the neighbors house

Laura's service experience: "I read your Cookie Project entry on this dismal, feeling-sorry-for-myself day. Things couldn’t have been timed more wonderfully. I didn’t make cookies, however. It was snowy and cold and dreary, definitely a soup and warm bread day… So, I made bread, one larger loaf for our dinner and two small loaves that I took out to neighbors (alas, neither anonymously). I needed to return a friend’s plate and had promised someone else a loaf the next time I made bread. It still turned out just as it should have. As I told her that I was here to return her plate, I saw her hobble to the door, twisted ankle, bad day, and her eyes lit up when she took the warm plate in her hands."

..........................................

Cut and paste the recipie for printing:

LAURA P's Parmesean Bread:

I put in a mixer bowl:
3 c. warm water
2 T. yeast (I use SAF brand)
1/3 c. sugar

I let that sit 10 minutes, then mix into the water:
1 1/2 T salt
4 T oil

freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 T rosemary

2 T minced garlic

Next, I add:
6 1/2 c. flour, one cup at a time

I set it aside to raise for 1 hour.
Then I divide the dough into 2 equal parts, shaping one into a rustic, imperfect loaf, and dividing the second again into two equal parts, shaping them into loaves. I place them side by side on cookie sheet prepared with cornmeal, cut diagonal slashes in them with a sharp knife and then I cover the pan with a cloth while the oven preheats to 375 F. When the oven is heated, I place the bread in the oven and let it cook for 30 minutes until beautifully brown. It served delightfully with our corn chowder soup for dinner.

nuttin' much

2010-04-09T10:54:00.005-06:00

....only I'm still in my pj's for about the 5th day in a row. Yes. It is 6:30 in the evening mind you.

And what have I done in a whole week without posting a single thing after I had posted 2 items a day the week previous.

The answer: Nadda!

Awe, some of you huff with envy. I wish I had time to do just, nothing, you think to yourself.

And What I say to that: NO! Not cool!

I am the type of person who guilt's herself into anything. and having days when I do nothing, absolutely drives me INSANE. I haven't left the house in over a week. (If only for grocery shopping -across the street.) Bleh. When in hind sight now that my two week are over (splendid timing,) my ideal time spent would be; relaxing on a beach in Greece or at Disneyland Paris. Uh, NOT in my messy, pile-ridden apartment.

Sure I've done 8 loads of laundry, cleaned out the basement, watched about 20 movies, done prep for school, slept in until 10:30, 11:00 or 12:00 almost daily, and gone several days without showering or wearing makeup... Yet still, all this lulling around has served me nothing, because I still feel terrible. I feel more stressed out and tense than I do on any regular day. It's a disgrace to all hippies I'd say. A disgrace, a mockery, and down right despicable to have such a disposition at the end of a spring break. I should feel rested shouldn't I? But instead I feel like a wound-up toy car ready to spring as soon as those chubby fingers release me to skid across the wooden floor. I would even go as far as saying I am ready for a vacation. Though this time a real vacation. I'm such a loser.

Feel bad for me ok!

..................

P.S. another cookie project post coming soon.

Wishing you all a 'hoppy eater"

2010-04-03T06:57:00.000-06:00

{ha, I kill myself with my originality}

or not.

I'm off to have a blog free weekend, to enjoy the reverence and sacredness of what we recognize on this day and to be uplifted by the words and testimonies of those who know it's importance best.

Join me here and be uplifted too. :)

the Cookie Project | mckenna's pumpkin cookies

2010-04-01T08:21:00.004-06:00

Ok, so they're not my cookies.... I got this yum-yum recipe off of allrecipes.com.

Allrecipes.com is an awesome recipe {obviously} site that allows you to comment on receipes you've tired, and read comments of those who have tried the recipe already. It also has the nutrition facts available, the ability to change the serving sizes to meet your needs and also the ability to view the recipe in a different measuring system.

That's pretty dang cool if you ask me!

Ok, so here is my 1st {because I plan on doing more} Cookie Project::

You'll need three bowls. One big, one medium, one small.

Perfect!

Now:

Start with the medium bowl and put in the following ingredients:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt

(I only had whole cloves so I just skipped those.)

Good, then mix it up a bit so the spices run evenly through the flour mixture, then set aside.

Ok, now is good time to pre-heat the oven to 350 f or 175 (ish) celcius

{not too early, as to waste-energy, and not to late as to have-to-wait.}

I set it to about 160 and it seemed to be just PERFECT!

Ok, next take

1/2 cup butter and nuke it for about 30 seconds or less to "soften" it. Of course it will melt rather than soften, but that's just what microwaves do.

then in the Large bowl add the following ingredients.

your melted 1/2 cup of butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Now softly, or even vigorously {depending on your level of need to release some stress or anxiety} mix the wet ingredients together with a wire wisk until smooth.

Then:

Take your medium bowl, with the flour mixture, and add it to the Large bowl.

{ Aha! Now you see why I had you put the dry ingredients into the medium bowl. ;) }

Then mix with a wooden spoon.

until it looks like this:

Now, you take some baking paper and put it atop your cookie sheet.

And oh boy, you just saved yourself from having to clean that nashty-pan.

Ah, don't you just love not having to clean up after yourself. :)

Now with a nifty little mashed-potato scooper -that may remind you of your elementry school days- scoop out some cookie dough and put that nice little ball of perfection onto your cookie sheet.

and space them in a fair distance from each other, these babies will spread out a bit. I mean hello, you put like 2 huge teaspoons of baking power and baking soda in them, it's to be expected.

Then you bake those pretty little things for {what the recipie says about 15-20 minutes} and what I say
precisely 16 minutes.

and they will look about like this:

Then you put them all together on your baking paper, real tight-nit, like they're in a sold out U2 concert or something.

and you let them cool down.

Alright, you ready for the small bowl. {You thought I forgot, didn't you?}

alright, now in your small bowl add the following then mix with a fork:

2 cups confectioners' sugar {or otherwise known as powdered sugar}
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon melted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Then drizzle that mixture ever so nicely onto your cooled cookies like so..

{Aha!, now you see why I had you put them all close-like.}

You put them on a pretty platter that you are willing to giveaway:

and now for the finish!

You drop them off at your neighbors house....

Ah, didn't that feel good?!

-----

I got such a thrill as I snuck out of my apartment one floor up, I almost forgot my camera. I opened my door silently, and in my slippered feet I tip-toed out of of the apartment and down the stairs without making a sound (well all besides the sounds that slippers make without permission,) and without closing the door behind me {KEY element right there. I wouldn't want to have to shuffle for my keys to get back in.} I rounded the staircase and came to the front door, able to hear the laughing and singing going on inside. It gave me butterflies of anxiety as I heard S's voice. So I placed the cookies down swiftly and quietly then ran half way up the stairs to snap the picture, then back down to ring the bell. I had to press the button for a long time until I heard the bell finally go off.

Then I dashed up the stairs.

This time less caring if I made a peep or not. She was comming to the door and the only objective now was to not be seen. I made it to my door as I heard the clinking of keys turning to unlock the door... and then I heard a small cuckled-laugh and a happy,

"Kuck Mal!"

{look here}

and I knew I just made someone else happy.

And that's how the Cookie Project works!

Submit your cookie project to me at

makephotographie@gmail.com

Heh?

The Cookie Project?!

What's that?

See here for details.

and in case you need a simple rundown of the recipe for copy and pasting:

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin puree
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups confectioners' sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon melted butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves, and salt; set aside.
In a medium bowl, cream together the 1/2 cup of butter and white sugar. Add pumpkin, egg, and 1 teaspoon vanilla to butter mixture, and beat until creamy. Mix in dry ingredients. Drop on cookie sheet by tablespoonfuls; flatten slightly.
Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven. Cool cookies, then drizzle glaze with fork.
To Make Glaze: Combine confectioners' sugar, milk, 1 tablespoon melted butter, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add milk as needed, to achieve drizzling consistency.

the cookie project

2010-03-31T13:02:00.003-06:00

Hi-ya!

I know you are so sick of my blog posts poppin' up every time you log into your google reader, but I swear this whole 2 posts a day thing won't last long.

This weekend it was my turn to make cookies for chior. {We have this deal, if you come to chior, you get a cookie. You know a cookie contract, keeps people involved. Totally works too!}

So anyway, I made some delicious pumpkin cookies in January, and thought I would make them yet again, seeing as the basic cookie varieties have already been shared over the past few sundays, and of course, I've gotta' keep it fresh, ya know.

They were a hit!

I had about 4 people come up to me afterwords saying that they wanted the recipie, and saying they would name it after me and such.

Wow! What an honour. That's never happened to me before, not even with my famous peanut-butter cookies. So I came home all enthusiastic-like, and made myself another batch, and photographed the entire process {for my blog of course.}

And then, an idea came to me.

So... I took that freshly baked batch of cookies, put them on a cute polish-pottery-platter and left them on my neighbor's (who happens to be my sister-in-law's) door step. Oh, how wonderful it felt to do something so simple, yet know how happy I would be if someone dropped off an extremely delicious batch of home-made cookies on my door step.

So with all of this I came up with a little something that would be so so fun to do, and something I want everyone to be involved in.

I'm calling it...

Anyone, anywhere can participate.

It's simple, and I think it can turn out to be a lot of fun.

Here's how it works:

1. find a delicious cookie recipie, either your favourite batch to make, or something exotic that you have never tired before.

2. Along with your camera, make that batch of delicious cookies, take your time and put a lot of love and *effort into it, record each step you take with a simple picture.

*The more effort you put in, the more joy you will get out of it.

3. Package them up on a nice platter {preferably one you can giveaway} and anonymously drop them off at the house of; a neighbor, a friend you haven't spoken to in a while, a person in need, an old lonely person you may know of, anyone else in need of a little pick me up, or the first person who comes into your mind.

*The key is to keep it anonymous. So don't do what I did and give it to your sister-in-law on a plate you want returned. (Sorry for being a terrible example. Though, I will be doing it again following my own rules next time.) :) And of course you can add a little "Glad we're neighbors" or "Hope you have a great day" note with it, so that person doesn't think you just dropped off poisoned cookies at their house.

4. Email me your recipe and pictures, along with a summary of who you gave the cookies to, why you gave it to them, and how you felt when you dropped it off at their house.

Then I'll take it from there and will feature your cookie experience right here on måke | memoirs.

I'll be kick starting the project by posting the first Cookie Project post tomorrow. April 1st, a great day for starting.

So, you in?

there is sunshine in my soul today.

2010-03-31T11:15:00.001-06:00

can it be??

can it really be?!!

a sun-flared photograph?? blue skies?!!

that was captured with my camera??

in this city?! in this cursed-to-be-overcast-all-the-time city?!

no?

really?!

can it really be?!

Spring!!?

With flowers blossoming, and buds sprouting?! Blue skies and SMILING German folk??!!! Walking about the streets as if they'd been struck with a silly stick?!!

Well all besides that one chick who rang me up ''Ihr Platz,''

....she was probably a little miffed that she just wasn't out to enjoy the sunshine like the rest of us.

or.... uh.... what's this???!!!!

dark clouds???...

Ok, ok, so it wasn't all bees and flowers. it started raining once I got home, put away my groceries and sat down to upload the photos I had just taken.

I sit here still wrapped in my flees blanket.

Oh, yeah and there has been non-stop hammering, and banging in my house for the last 3 days, while they rip off the roof of our house....

Though for the most part, it's been three degrees of glorious today!!

Seriously. Check out some of this spring action, that's going on right now (well actually these were from a few days ago, but who cares).....

Yay.

i like you

2010-03-31T02:12:00.000-06:00

I may not be a great commenter on your blog. I may not know what you did today, if you were bored like me and didn't leave the house, whether or not you would eat a bowl of peas for dinner, what your hand writing looks like, what you believe, what you dream, or what you want for your future. But I do know,
that I like you.

I like what you write. I like to see the beauty in this world that you see and are inspired by. I like what you capture with your camera, what you create with your hands, or type up from your mind. You are an inspiration to me.

I love to come home after work and read your nice comments. I love to see your cute profile picture on my list of followers. I love that you are here, and that you are my bloggy friend.

At times I get jealous of you and the things you get to see that I do not. The places you go to that I don't, and the clothes you wear that could never pull off, and the talents you have, that I lack. Yet, more than all that I am happy you are unique. I am happy that we are different people, living different lives. Who find commonality in creativity and beauty in the world around us. And most of all I am happy that you share it with me.

Thank you!

Thank you Elizabeth {of E TELLS TALES} for sharing your wonderful talent for sewing and your eye for charming and beautiful vintage things.

Thank you Nikki {of Que sera sera!} for making me laugh and for sharing snip-it's of your childhood in your Flashback Friday's.

Thank you Crissant {of Fotografia.Crissant} for your stunning black and white images and cute comments even though English in not your native tongue.

Thank you Brittany {of whimsy} for your extremely adorable fashion sense and your cheery, testimony-building posts.

Thank you to thelovelist for not only sharing a love for ikea and h&m with me, for also knowing what it is like to live in a German speaking country, and for living on the same continent and almost the same country, as me.

Thank you Kali {of i love you everyday} for being so strong, for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your brother's passing. You've brought me to tears in many of your posts and helped me to realize how fragile life is. Thank you for your amazing stories, wonderful pictures and OH SO CUTE Baby-Miles. I'm in love with him!

Thanks to all of you who read, family, friends and followers. Thanks for commenting on my silly posts when all I do is talk about my boring self, and for making me feel better when I complain about being miserable and unmotivated. It really means a lot to me.

Ever since I started taking måke memoirs a little more seriously I have welcomed some new readers, and within only a couple of months I've made some really incredible bloggy friends. I have reconnected with a lot of people who I never thought I would even speak to after high school. I truly have to say that I am so grateful for the interenet, even though it's horribly time consuming, and addicting, and I can't go a day or even a few hours without checking for updates or comments. It has brought me so much joy because it has brought me closer to you, even though we are miles and miles apart.

Thank you all for being here with me on måke | memoirs!

I'll end with the profound words of Lloyd Christmas:

"I like ya a LOT!"

giveaway, giveaway, giveaway | say that 10 times fast

2010-03-30T10:40:00.003-06:00

Congratulations Brylie M. who won the creairtive giveaway!

Senja will be along to contact you and send you your lovely little creairtive creation.

Thank you to all of you who participated!

You are such lovely, loyal readers of måke memoirs, you all deserve to win. What fun it is to do giveaways. It's so thrilling to write each of your names on those little strips of paper imagining your faces, and thinking of how happy you'd be if you won. I truly wish I was rich enough to buy you all jewelry and have it sent to your house. Oh, and how exciting it feels to win something!

I never win anything. But, I never give up.

I'm even going to enter this little giveaway at Lauren's blog

{the little things we do...}

I urge you to do the same!

I mean seriously, these baking dishes would be super cool to win!

hop on over and enter so that you'll lessen my chances of winning them.

.......

and if none of us win don't worry....

I'm already planning, the next måke giveaway

I think I will offer up something along the lines of a

måke | designed

blog or etsy

custom logo and blog button

Would that be something you'd want to win?

der bahn | outfit post

2010-03-30T02:00:00.000-06:00

I love riding the trains in Europe. It's such a defining aspect of living here. I'd never had to rely on public transportation, nor had I even ridden anything worth calling a train before I came to Germany as an aupair.

My very first ride on the train was so exhilarating. In fact the first time I rode the S-bahn was on my way to meet Josef for the tour of Frankfurt he was leading me on, which as it turned out, was our very first date.

My eyes were wide as I sat next to the window gazing out at the trees as they rushed by me. I had been in Germany for over two months and yet had never been shown nor explored on my own the train system before. This was the point in my aupair experience when I finally felt like I was living my dream.

And now here I am riding it every single day.

I love it. :)

On our way to P's house last weekend, I wanted to take some pics for an outfit post. I felt pretty that day, and in my want to do more posts like these I brought along my camera so that Josef could take pictures of me at the station. Due to the fact that Josef made a quick phone call before we left, which ended up not being so quick, we ended up having to run to the station (as usual.) By the time we got there we had about 1 minute for the mini photo shoot before the train arrived, and ended up only getting about 3 shots.

I was a bit disappointed, until...

We got on the train and instead of finding the usual blue, red, and grey colours that the Deutsche Bahn flaunts, the old train we got on had the most perfect colour pallet for a my hearts-desired little photo shoot.

Silly, I know but it really made me happy.

What I am wearing:
- cream coloured polyester blouse from Primark
- dark blue skinny jeans rolled slightly at the ankle from H&M
- simple mary jane's in tan. Bought them at TK Maxx in Manchester England. LOVE them!!
- simple button-down cardigan in taupe from H&M

What I acsessorised with:
- blue paisley scarf from H&M
- gold watch
- cream and gold earrings with floral detail from H&M

This outfit is great for going out, to hang out. Nothing too fancy, just simple, casual and yet a little more than just a t-shirt and jeans. A scarf with a nice color and pattern can really add to a monotone coloured outfit, and a simple roll of the pant legs can add a little flair to a regular pair of jeans. To really doll it up, wear this outfit with heels though, if you plan on walking from the English theater to a down-town cafe across cobble-stone streets, flat mary-jane's should do the trick.

Next post will announce the giveaway winner so stay tuned to see if you've won. good luck. :)

I think you are beautiful :] What do you put on your skin, to get it so perfect!?

2010-03-29T15:27:00.005-06:00

First of all. Thank you! How nice of you to say that. :)

To be honest, I don't do much. I wash my face day and night with a natural cream cleanser and a regular wash cloth to exfoliate just a bit:

and I use a simple lotion directly after:

....

and just a little secret between the two of us: I had terrible skin about 3 years ago due to TONS and TONS of stress and really really crappy eating. {nutella on toast 5 times a day type of crappy} I had to go on Acutane to clear it up. The only advice I would give in keeping your skin healthy is eating and sleeping right, drinking plenty of water, and taking the time to de-stress yourself.

Ask me anything

2 weeks, what am I to do?

2010-03-29T15:13:00.001-06:00

I have two whole weeks off.

2 weeks!

What on earth am I going to do?

I am so boring, all I have planned is writing some new posts that I have been meaning to write, preparing some stuff for the photo event that I am doing, and uhh... sleeping in?... and making myself a few pots of my favourite tea everyday.

Sure there are plenty of things that I would like to do such as:

1. go on a trip. {Paris sounds nice.}

2. go on a trip. {Stockholm sounds nice.}

3. go on a trip. {Venice sounds nice.}

4. go on a trip. {Utah to visit my family sounds nice.}

Problem as usual being lack of funds.

So I am enlisting you my friends.

Help!

What should I do with my two whole weeks!?

I am out of creative ideas.

If you were living here in Germany what would you want to do or see?

Maybe I could take a small day trip to a place of your choice, take some pics, and share them with you.

Though, I would prefer that you join me. :)

.............

P.S.

Only a few more hours left in the creairtive giveaway. Be sure to enter here.

take a ride with me

2010-03-27T11:19:00.001-06:00

{bangs} a simple spring refresher

2010-03-27T08:02:00.004-06:00

It may have been because I just watched (500) Days of Summer on Wednesday night and envied how cute Zooey's bangs looked.

Or it may have been because I had just popped a zit on my forehead, and wanted to cover it up.

Or quite possibly because bangs just look hot with these sunglasses.

Well either way you look at it, I cut my bangs this week.
Nothing new, I did it around this same time last year.
But oh how simple it is to trim up a spring refreshment.

If you're looking for a new look without being too dramatic about it, bangs are just the thing. And if you end up not liking them, no fretting, they grow out and swoop very nicely in less than a month.

:)

Do you have bangs or are considering bangs for the summer?
If, so please share some pics!

-------

less than 3 days left on the creairtive giveaway peeps.

Uh, do I need mention that you can get gorgeous jewelry of your choice for FREE?!
Enter right here

donnerstag an der warte

2010-03-25T11:06:00.003-06:00

Spring has finally hit Frankfurt which makes going out to the local markets that much more enjoyable. The streets are filled with happy smiling German's and all feels so picturesque. Though I still feel odd taking pictures when I'm alone in public places, I over came my dilemma and stopped on by the Bockenheimer Thursday Market to enjoy a taste of the glorious weather.

.....................

Though, I suppose I underestimated the change the weather would put in some German attitude's because as it seems, some German men really get a little too comfortable in the sunshine and start asking random women holding nice camera's to take pictures of the tattoo on their back.

I was passing along some tents looking through some scarfs, when I heard.
"Entshuldigung, frau mit der kamera." {Excuse me, woman with the camera!}

Who me? Thinking I might be in trouble for taking pictures I walked over to him. He then proceeded to ask me something along the lines of; is photography a hobby or something or other, I understood hobby, so I repeated "Ja, ja es ist ein hobbie" nodding.

Then he rambled something I didn't understand and I told him that my German really isn't that good. So he stopped, and I could see the wheels in his head freeze.

"Uh, myh Anglisch iz not zo gud, eizer."

A long pause.

Then he proceeded in half German, half English, with what in the end turned out be that he wanted to know if I would take a picture of his tattoo. For what reason... I still don't know. What would I do with such a photo or more or less, what would he do with a photo that he will never get? What was in it for him? Was it his way of showing off his "good feature's" to a pretty girl, maybe get a date out of it? It was quite possibly the most senseless thing anyone has ever asked me to do. So of course I went along with it. I took the picture, and then there was a long very awkward pause. Where I can only imagine that was the only moment in the conversation where we both connected by thinking, Uhhh...what now?

He broke the silence by telling me about the tattoo and that he wanted to add two ships to the lower part of his back and that it wasn't quite finished yet. Which is what I assume was the leeway into his expectation of me being swept off my feet.

"Toll, toll!" I said. When really the only quote running though my head was... "Big-Gulps huh? Whelp, see ya later." Then to appease him and of course my viewers, I asked if he wouldn't mind if I took a couple more photos, ended the conversation with a "Danke schon" and walked away smiling. If he only knew I got way more out of it than he did... something totally blog worthy. :)

P.S.

forgeteth not to enter the giveaway. You also need not forget to tell your friends too... just add le button to your blog.

and while you are at it, you might as well add this one too. Aint it cute?! I just made it.

no problemo

2010-03-25T04:05:00.004-06:00

Things that were confirmed to me today:

1. I could be a Dr.
2. I must be more in tune than I thought.
3. Be sure to teach my future kids their own address and phone number.
4. It is a really good thing we ALWAYS carry a first aid kit to the playground.
5. L. and I work great together!

location: playground
date: march 24th 2010
weather: Sunny, warm and BEAUTIFUL
my facebook status when I got home: ...split open shin with gushing out blood, several layers of skin, fat, and a lot of other stuff I can't recognize other than to call it ground beef: no problemo.

the story:

We left for the playground around 4 to let the daycare kids run wild and free, get 'em all tired, and to let them enjoy the change in the weather. My partner in crime always brings the backpack with supplies such as; diapers, band aids, neosporine, bandages, etc. and I always bring the key to get back in.

It may have been out of laziness, or just the fact that I didn't want to have the key sitting loosely in my pocket, but this time without even making a decision about it, I brought along my entire bag that happens to house my cell phone.

All went as usual at the park, and as time passed a lot more children came home from school and joined us in the weather basking. It was rounding up near 5:15, the time when we head back to the school for final pickups when a young girl about the age of 9 or 10, was casually playing with her friend on the see-saw. I watched the running, and playing while amidst conversation with a friend on the bench, next to the supply backpack, when this young girl stood up and the see-saw came down and bumped her shin. "Mmm, that's going to be a nice bruise," I thought to myself as I saw her bend down to favor her leg and continued my conversation, thinking little of the incident.

What must have been 1 minute later, the girl came limping over to us with a bit of panic in her face. Must have been more than a bruise as I saw a bit of blood on her kalki pants and the first words out of her mouth were, "I think we need to call the hospital."

She began to roll up her pant leg and we both caught a glimpse of what you would only see on medical TV channels. My friend gave out a deep gasp and I smiled lightly with the image of my mom, sisters, and sister-cousins who would be there saying "Ooo let me see!" when immediately my Dr. instincts kicked in. Seeing as the girl was only frightened more by large eyes and aghast reactions, I calmly sat her down and began to roll up her pant leg, attempting to soothe the her while calling over L. my 'partner in crime'.

{skip the next paragraph if your stomach can handle gory descriptions}

All sorts of reactions came over the girls face as we rolled the pant leg up to her knee, getting a good view of the open wound. The see-saw must have hit her shin at just the right angle because the skin had split, about 3 inches of her leg right open, revealing the layers inside. Blood was trickling down her leg leading upto the yellow curds of fat that bulged out of the clean line of skin.

L, grabbed some wet wipes from the backpack and gently applied them to the wound. Tears filled the girls eyes, with lips quivering and obvious pain hinted within her worried eye brows.

"Where do you live, do you live around here?" I asked

She breathed in air and replied, "Yes, I live at number 6, on the top floor."

"Is anyone home?"

"Yes, my dad is home."

Then a drill of scenarios ran through my head, envisioning myself running to her house, possibly not being able to find the right one, or arriving and knocking down the door in panic.

L. said, "there's a phone in the field house, you can use."

Of course, that's a way better option.

"I know my number, she said."

"Wonderful, what is it sweety," I said looking for a pen to write it on my hand so I could run to the field house to call. Then remembering, with a bulb appearing above my head, I have my cell phone.

"I have my cell phone," I called out, reaching around my back pulling it out. "Ok, what's the number?"

Between clinched teeth she stated her number and while it rang, I asked her what her dad's name was.

"Hello, this is Miss McKenna, I am here at the playground with your daughter who cut her leg pretty deeply. She will probably need to be taken to the hospital, and will most likely need stitches."

"Are there any broken bones?"

"No, no broken bones, just a really deep cut."

"Ok, I'll be there in a sec."

Getting off the phone, I bent down to apply pressure to the wad of tissues and wet wipes L. had applied while I was on the phone, and she continued to look for another means to cover the wound. She pulled out a large white bandage holding it up and asked if it would work. I nodded and she peeled back the packaging to reveal the adhesive. The bandage was ready and we took away the white wad to reveal the goods, one last time in order to conceal it long enough to get her to the hospital, and have a doctor finish up the rest. L. and I applied the bandage then helped the girl lift both her feet up on the bench and wait for her father to arrive.

I sat with my hands at her ankles looking her in the eyes and telling her that she will be alright.

"What a story, you will have to tell to your friends," I said with excitement. She was so cute as she tried to carry on a conversation through her cringing.

"Has this ever happened to any of you?"

I nodded and said I had stitches, but I was too little to remember.

"Do they put you to sleep when they put the stitches in?"

A very valid question, "I don't think so, but I am sure they numb the pain so you won't feel it."

We continued to console her and tell her how brave she had been, trying to avert her mind from the pain, soon then her dad arrived in hand a bag of what I assume was medical supplies. Seeing that we had already taken care of it, he walked over to us with a big smile on his face, and began to comfort her as well. He stood her up and helped her walk to the car. L. and I gathered up the daycare kids, and walked back to the school feeling like hero's.

creairtive giveaway

2010-03-23T16:09:00.007-06:00

I've spoken about this lovely etsy shop before, and now I am honored to host a fabulous creairtive giveaway.

Beautiful ear lovelies hand made by Senja who loves bright happy colors, evident in her pristine designs. You'll receive your choice of any one of the items in her shop.

There are 3 ways to enter :

1 : hop on over to creairtive on etsy and pick out your favorite item from the shop. Come back here and mention which item is your favorite in a comment below. Be sure to include an email or a way to contact you!

2 : blog/tweet/facebook about the giveaway then leave an extra comment with the link for another entry.

3 : add a creairtive button to your blog and comment yet again with a link to your blog.

you can use either this one:

or this one :

It's that easy-schmeezy.

Giveaway ends on Monday the 29th at Midnight

food | q+a

2010-03-23T14:20:00.000-06:00

Nikki asked: What is your favorite german meal? Pictures are a plus! And what food do you miss most from the states?

my favourite German meal: Good old traditional Schnitzel. I like mine mit rahm soße {with creamy mushroom sauce} and brat kartoffel {fried potatoes} along with a large glass of anannas saft {pineapple juice}

{picture from august 2009}

and many other lovely things I can get here such as:

delicious organic yoghurt

and yummy yummy cheese varieties

and galia melon

and asian pears

and delicious bread rolls fresh from the bakery with honey or nutella on top

and hot crepes from crepe stands on the street

and döner-kebabs {like gyros but better and more authentic}

and ohhhh the schokolade

food I miss most from America... Store bought ICE CREAM!!! In large quantities.

and my mami's chicken n' brocolli caserole

and my mami's pot roast with carrots and mashed potatoes

and a Mi Ranchito beef enchalada

and beef taco's from cafe rio

and the many other varieties of junk food such as:

reeces anything and everything

and hot tamales

and chicko-sticks

and dairy queen vanilla ice cream cones

and arby's roast beef sandwiches and curly fries

but other than that.

Although, I really don't miss it all that much. I am really content with the simplicity of foods here. And my waist-line is happy too. :)

all because of the fall

2010-03-23T12:23:00.003-06:00

{play while you read.}

Ever wish you were perceived as one of the gloriously charming female characters in film, and literature? Something along the lines of the unique and beautiful Clementine, Amelie, Penelope, or Ivy. A woman who never doubts herself for a moment, is wildly adventurous, carefree, finds beauty in every little detail of life, stunning at every moment, creative and educated. A woman who's lovable because she is flawed and quirky, and loved because she doesn't see herself that way. A woman who never looks at herself from the outside in, and removes herself from the dullness of life by being a part of the fullness of it.

I do.

And yet, I see myself from every bad angle. I am constantly discouraged, always lacking creative oomph, and wishing I could just stop caring about what I think. I want to breath in life as if it were a ocean breeze along the southern coast of France. Live life like a sun-flared photograph.

I want to have my own theme song played when I first enter the frame of the scene. Sweetened by the fine quality of fingers on a piano, driven by the cello and accompanied by a singular violin singing that high hum of melancholy. Making you feel what you haven't felt in a long time. The urge to cry out of passion, and jump into the air, close your eyes and never come down. The feelings I get when I dream of traveling.

I wish I could have a glimpse of how Josef sees me. Am I that girl to him? Is it in the way his lips brush the back of my neck as I do the dishes, or how he still adores me even if I can, and do, out-burp him, that he makes me feel like the women I see in the movies.

I still remember the way it felt to stroke my fingers along his unshaven face on October thirteenth, two thousand six. I remember the way he responded. The way I felt; as though I was falling, like laughing-gas at the dentist's, like being half-asleep, half-awake and still dreaming.

Life can be such a fantasy at times and at others, such an assemblage of stressful and mundane articles making themselves at home, putting their muddied shoes on the white sofa. Yet, the times when fantasy and reality meet are worth the gray stains on the armrest.

There have been many instances in my life where the stark contrast of the fall of Adam has brought me the most glorious pain, and eminent happiness I have ever experienced. Joy beyond imagination, that was preceded by ugliness and regret. What a glorious gift it is to have such sensibility in this life. What a glorious gift it is to be able to feel.

how come nobody ever asks you anything? | formspring.me

2010-03-22T13:23:00.002-06:00

Oh, cuz maybe they forgot.

Hey ya'll. Don't forget. If you ever have a silly, serious, or random question use that little box in the right column.

Don't be shy, but don't be too un-shy, alright. We all know I'm not going to answer any of those weirdo questions. :)

Ask me anything

my weekend in feet fotos

2010-03-22T13:13:00.001-06:00

+ inspired by nicole's weekly feet photo posts

Friday{with my daycare kids}

Friday night {date night : Josef's Name Day} on our way to the Kino

Friday night riding the u-bahn, sippin' on shakes, and taking a night walk after the movie

Saturday {hang out day} not pictured : Us sleeping in late and eating delicious breakfast together.

Saturday night {hang out at Patrick's house} & Sunday morning {church going, though this pic was from a few weeks ago.}

and how was your weekend? Hopefully not smelly.

Mine was great, thanks for asking.

Josef and I finally went on a real date together. Wha, what?

Yeah, that's right, we went OUT. Of the house. At night. Together. And not just to buy groceries. I wore my red lipstick to commemorate the moment.

We also got to spend a Saturday together, un-distracted by working and paper writing. We commemorated that by sleeping in and eating a wonderful breakfast together.

For the evening, a friend invited us over for some fab Indian delight and scrumptious pineapple tapioca pudding {mmmmmm}, the cherry on top being; LOST watched on his mongo illuminating tv. It was then I started questioning what type of man I thought I married. Heh? since when did Josef start watching sport shows on tv? After all these years I thought he was a news channel guy. I guess that's what a beastly telly does to men's testosterone levels.

Sunday was the youge; wonderful church, wonderful talks on temerance, wonderful time with my primary kids learning 'follow the prophet', and without fail, a Sunday nap. Mmmmm.

I Hope your first week of Spring is delightful.

I plan on working on my website, going to the T, working on photos/yearbook for school, and figuring out some more things for the Mami and Me event I am doing in April.

a thousand words

2010-03-20T07:25:00.001-06:00

there are so many elements in this picture that make my heart giddy.

1. the fingers of one of my 2 year old's. Have I told you how much I love my kids at school?... I am sure I have, but let me just reinforce it. I LOVE MY KIDS!! And though I wish I could gloat about them all day long and show you how stinkin' adorable they are in the pics I took of them on Friday, I shouldn't. Because, I am sure the population would triple in size, if you really saw just how cute my kids are.
2. the shadow. shadow's equal sunshine. sunshine equals springtime. springtime equals mckenna very happy.
3. in the background; a little glimpse of Frankfurt, a city with it's own unique charm. a city that no matter how much you hate in the winter, you understand just how wonderful it is in the spring.

happy saturday, hope it's sunny where you are.

all new måke photographie dot com

2010-03-18T12:07:00.003-06:00

visit måkephotographie.blogspot.com now

love. this. song.

2010-03-11T08:28:00.004-07:00

love this video.

brings me to thinking about the few days we spent in gothenburg. I thought I hated that city. a few horrible events happend to us while we were there in 06. but oh do I remember it.

I think it's about time we revisit. Get a new view of it.

måkeup tutorial, oder nicht?

2010-03-09T11:33:00.001-07:00

last thursday. fer fun, I deceided to film a makeup tutorial.

You know, like I'm a cool youtuber or something.

What, like I am cool or something.

Eh.... no.

I hate myself on video; my voice sounds all weird, I dis-like very much the way I look when I speak, I ramble, for the record I don't really know what I am talking about, and recording myself putting on makeup will reveal to all my readers the aweful truth about me...

that I have a mirror face.

never before seen by any human being, other than my husband and very close female friends

often made fun of, and frowned upon.

The video may never see the light of day, nor reach your beautiful eyeballs.

probably because I don't know how to edit it, and it's in about a million peices because my camera kept stopping when I didn't realise. Plus there are strange drilling noises in the background from the construction going on in our house, and all of the other self-concious reasons stated above...

or maybe I just want you to tell me that you want to see it, boost my confidence a little, tell me that you might actually be interested in seeing a

måkeup tutorial

or maybe the curiosity of seeing my mirror face in action is what's driving you to want to see it.

well, here's a little preview ::

Aint it purrty?

Yep, that is an authentic
måke mirror face ™

So what'll it be?

a. show it, who cares.
b. nah, keep it in the closet.
c. I'd love to see it because I need some makeup tips and I love you no matter what you look like when you look in the mirror.

d. no comment. I'm a hater.

I'm obsessed.

2010-03-05T13:17:00.004-07:00

In fact I have {almost} eaten the entire loaf of '"American" Style Vollkorn sandwich' bread that I bought on Tuesday.

That's three days people.

That's like 2 sandwiches a night. That's like 4 slices of bread a night... that's like 12 slices. I may have even snuck one in for lunch sometime too. That's like 16 slices.

In three days people!

And you know what, I've got to stop writing about food on my facebook status. It's starting to give people a bad impression. I'm pretty sure obesity, pregnancy or something or other was mentioned in a couple of comments. I guess serious addiction never crossed any one's mind. But I'm thinking it's more just a reminder of home.

So what's your G.C. fla-va?

cut in ::

squares

halves

triangles

accompanied by ::

tomato soup

ketchup

nada, just like it the way it is

I'm definitely not a ketchup person and am all about squared, with or without the tomato soup.

Mmmmm.... buttery, flaky, cheesy goodness.

I think I'll make myself another.

That's like 18 slices of bread!
Okay, I'll refrain and eat some ice cream with chocolate sauce instead.

:)

Hope you have a great non-fattening weekend.

a shopping story & a living room fashion shoot

2010-03-04T15:15:00.004-07:00

the past month or so I have been in dire need of some new jeans.

I pretty much wear the same pair every single day and I fear for their near future.

Does anyone else get holes in thigh places? (he he)

Cause I do.

jeans last me about 8 months... so I am about due on my latest pair... I'm already starting to see signs of wreckage in the cris-cross zone.

Seeing as it's finally the beginning of the new month and bills are all paid and we haven't eaten a month's worth of food yet, I just couldn't resist the temptation to go shopping.

2 guesses on where I went.

.......

Well, if you guessed ::

Primark & H&M

You know me well.

Well actually I went to Primark on Tuesday to try on their jeans with hope that they wouldn't be too shabby, I mean 9 euros for a pair of jeans! Seriously? Well, all was good except they weren't long enough, fooey. So I got some pink tights, three skinny belts, a white long sleeved shirt, and some long shorts, all for... eh.... 15 euros.

Have I told you that I love Primark??

So today was jean search day back to the mall to go to H&M where I will spend 39,95 on a pair of jeans instead of 9. Bummer. And to think I used to buy 7 for all mankind jeans at 200 bucks a pop. Sheesh!

(Oh, the blessings of living with your parentals.)

Well those days are long gone and 39,95 is really looking expensive now-a-days.

Well anyways. I found 3 pairs that I liked, plus a cute ruffly sleeve (white) shirt, a yellow/green sweater, plus many other wonderful things that I tried on but had enough self control to put back. After the dressing rooms I was still in termoil about the jeans, sweater, and the shirt and a plea to the husband was necessary. I get really guilty buying anything for my self, ever, so this call wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

It always goes like this...

"Hi!".... "Uh,.. honey?... will you help me?"

Then I explain what I am holding in my hands and how much I want and need them and then asked if the bills have been paid, and if we can afford my luxurious lifestyle.

Let's just say, I'm glad I married a man with only sisters. He eased my pain and okay'd me getting 2 pairs of jeans + the super fab sweater that was half off! Even though I was willing to sacrifice a pair of jeans if needs be. I didn't even tell him about the shirt, I felt guilty enough with the sweater and really, how many white shirts do I need?...

I love him!

{Tack so myket min Josef, Jag älskar dig!}

So would you like to see what I got?

Cause of course I came home and played dress up in my living room.

Well close your eyes if your answer is no because I am going to show you anyway.

above I am wearing

from H&M :: bag (bought last year), sweater, blouse (also bought last year), & white undershirt (also bought a while ago. I seriously have many many white shirts.)

from Primark :: pink tights, turquoise skinny belt, & navy shorts

from Amanda Smith :: shoes (also bought ages ago, they are one of the only pairs of heels I brought to Germany with me. I love 'em but hardly wear them. High-heels and cobble stone don't mix.)

above I am wearing

from H&M :: new jeans in grey, red-orange cardigan (got last summer for my birthday.)

from Primark :: white long sleeve shirt

Above I am wearing

from H&M :: the 2nd pair of jeans. LOVE them!

.....

Disclosure ::

I just want to make clear that I am not a vain person, I just like to pretend that I am a super hot model and a freaking cool photographer. (Which I am neither.) Dressing up and taking self portraits is just one of my favourite things to do when I have time on my hands. I don't even look or dress like this on most occasions, and my house has never looked so clean. (That's cause all of the piles and dirt is shoved out of the picture frame silly.)

Have a good night/day (whatever it is.) Hope your night/day is full of successful shopping!

I don't have a cool sign out. I feel embarrassed.

Ok, enough.

Bye!

finally getting around to naming the winner.

2010-03-03T14:00:00.003-07:00

sorry ya'll.

I said I'd announce the winner on Saturday and look, here it is Wednesday night. Whoops. I've been a bit busy.

. Saturday.

. got my hair done by my fabulous, beautiful sister-in-law M. who's now engaged. (Congrats!!!)

. had the talent show... big success. Loved it! Performed moderately (forget more than half of what I had choreographed) but had a blast anyway. Josef's song was fabulous, we'll be doing a better recording of it soon so that you can see/hear it. Still deciding on weather or not I should post my dance vid on the blog. I don't know... I'm a bit hesitant because I don't want to look vain, and it really wasn't that good. So maybe you'll have to give me a few good reasons to.

. Sunday.

. see here.

. Monday.

. got up early. I'm talkin' like 6:00 early. went to work. worked, if you want to call it work, it's more like get paid to be surrounded by utter cuteness all day long. Had a half an hour to check blogs/emails/facebook before Josef needed to use the computer for some things he's working on. Hung out with sister-in-law A. and watched my high school dance videos and showed her the talent show performances. went to bed way too late.

. Tuesday.

. went to this wonderful place

followed by this wonderful place, then went to a meeting for 'some tales of mystery' the never ending e.a.poe production that I took part in in a while back, that is now going to be done again in the spring. ran to netto before it closed. came home. ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches. called me Mami. went to bed way too late.

. Wednesday .

got up not so early. went to work. worked. came home. made another 2 more delicious grilled cheese sandwiches this time with tomato soup and a glass of milk. Talked with my business partner and our editor. and here we are.

Don't you think it's about time for me to reveal the cosmetic giveaway winner....

You thought I'd never get to it huh?

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... (suppose to be a drum roll sound)..... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

tsch!
(oh, come one you know what I mean. It's so hard to type sounds.)

and the winner is ::

VAL

Congrats! Please send me your mailing address via email and you'll be getting a nice and pretty package filled with some of my favourite cosmetics.

Thanks to all who participated, you guys rock!

And you know.. I was thinking. You all have some pretty big chances with my giveaways, that was like a one in 9 chance. That's so unlike some giveaways I know, where you're like one in a million. So I'm telling you there's a chance. Next time it's very likely to be you and very likely to be a primark something or other giveaway. So be on the look out.

I wish you all a good rest of the week.

tis a windy day here in frank-town

2010-02-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

I love Sunday's

2010-02-28T11:16:00.002-07:00

I love going to chruch

I love partaking of the sacrament

I love the way it makes me feel

I love learning, teaching and singing songs with my primary children

I love the members, the children, the youth, my bishop and the councelors in my ward

I love singing in the chior

I love Sunday naps and cuddles with min Josef

I love Sunday dinner

I love baking bannana bread in the early evening

I love the quiet and coziness of reading on the couch with the glow of the lamps smelling the sent of freshly baked goodies

I love to ponder and make goals on Sunday's

I love to hear the sound of the tram slowly going by

I love spending the entire day with Josef

I love Sunday's

That is all.

Is anyone else just dying for spring to come?

2010-02-20T11:33:00.002-07:00

Because, I think I am about to kill over.

I am formally an unlike-r of spring. I've always hated the sense of urgency it brings. As if you are all-of-a-sudden suppose to become anew, as instantly as the weather change itself. Yet on the inside you still feel like the winter's naked trees; bare and lifeless.

There is also no getting around the fact that Spring weather is still a bitter reflection of frozen fingertips and constant shivers, with brief glimpses of warmth from the sun. I find it rather a tease than a refreshment.

Although this being my fourth winter in Germany, I think all that dislike is coming to a close. Well actually I am utterly exhausted of weather change in general. I am considering a move to the south-east, maybe India or tropical island somewhere. Somewhere, where I don't have to think about seasons, changes, or endlessly cold feet.

how could I forget?

2010-02-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

my two favourite things ::

no really, these are my real favourites.

This here is infact the best tasting tooth paste on the earth! Mint made in heaven. I totally picky about mint, absolutely can't have it too strong, and this is perfect! Blend-a-med mild fresh flavour.

Funny how this is an "XXL." Looks pretty average sized to me.

And the best face cream ever!!! Alverde day cream passion flower sent. Absorbs quickly and doesn't leave a greasy residue. It's also available as a night cream and mmmmm it smells delicious.

Alright, that's it from me.

Happy Date Night!

Don't forget to enter the beauty product giveaway

Here

brown paper packages tied up with strings...

2010-02-18T14:33:00.005-07:00

these are quite simply my favourite beauty-ful things ::

Saw this on .the little things we do. and thought I'd be a big copy-cat.

Just about every month {right around payday} I slip on over to DM to refill my stash or tryout new beauty products. There is something so heart warming about getting new things that smell good, that make you look good, and feel good. 2nd to clothes & shoes, lotions and body washes, eye shadows & shampoos are simply some of my favourite things.

Here are my I-can't-live-without's ::

for my everyday neutral look, I use alverde eye shadows and mascara with Mac's Embark as eyeliner. The Alverde shadow's I got were to replace the Cover Girl palette I love and were only available to me when I lived in the states.

My favourite colours in the palette (below), as you can see, are gone or almost gone, and the replacements are the ivory shadow (upper left) and the taupe (upper right).

This shadow (below) is AWESOME! I've had it for almost three years and I use it every single day. I use it as an eyeliner and apply it with an angled brush to create a soft line, unlike when you use actual eyeliner which creates a harsh line, and if you are like me an extremely choppy, uneven line. So I prefer using shadows as liner. Plus it gives you more color options, especially when using Mac shadows.

I've ranted about this mascara before. No need to repaint the mona lisa.

Next are the ultimate basics and absolute can't-use-any-other-brand cosmetics. I get my dove special order from the U.S. Commissary, Euro-dove or any Euro deodorant for that matter, is an absolute no go. I get my "chapstick" at Netto, it's organic and it does wonders. It's even replaced my original flavor of the real chapstick brand chapstick. (question:: What do you call chapstick when it's not chapstick brand? You know, like when you say Kleenex when you really mean tissues.)

My favourite shampoo {at the moment because they are always coming out with new scents} is the apricot moisturizing shampoo from the DM brand Balea. It smells SOOO goood! After I use that I'll use a nice purple shampoo to-brighten-me-blonde-locks.

(pictured left) The best face wash known to (wo)man! Alverde wild rose cleansing milk for dry and sensitive skin. (pictured right) Super yummy and creamy body lotion. Alverde (once again) almond + tea rose body cream.

Although, I do have to say that this lotion doesn't quite replace this delicious lotion.

Walmart brand (believe it or not) Parent's Choice baby lotion with chamomile and lavender. But guess what? This, just like Extra's wintergreen flavoured gum, was changed.

Notice the difference here ::

chamomile & lavender vs. "soothing aromas"

Uh, totally NOT THE SAME.

They ruined the best lotion EVER! Soothing aromas just ain't the same; doesn't smell the same, doesn't even have the same creamy texture.

Luckily I still have half a bottle of the c&l. I use it very sparingly, for special occasions only. But the other junk, the soothing kind, just makes me upset.

Okay, I need to just stop.

See how passionate I am about cosmetics? Sheesh.

Hope you all have a good rest of your Thursday. I can't wait for tomorrow. The Hub and I are going on a date. A chance for me to wear my special lotion. Yipee!

-----------------------------

So måke friends ::

comment

What your favourite beauty products that have been altered and are just unrecognizable now.

what are your absolute favourites that still are wonderful?

and for a 2nd entry blog about

måke memoirs along with your favourite cosmetics

(& comment the link to this post)

...and I'll send you one of my favourites for you to try out.

Winner will be selected next Thursday (same time) at random.

have a good day/evening/night.

people who måke the world beautiful

2010-02-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

Meet Olivia from everyday musings

she's an adorable (no need to mention, beautiful) new blogger friend and owner of this charming etsy shop that makes chic cake stands out of vintage plates and crystal candle holders.

I mean honestly, how brilliant!

Check out her blog for more brilliance, inspiration, baking ideas, and her simply adorable lifestyle, as well as the lovely little cake stand giveaway she is hosting.

messy house

2010-02-16T15:38:00.003-07:00

my mom used to take pictures of my bedroom when it was a disaster

just so I would remember what it was like

but why would I need pictures of it for remembrance when it was messy all the time

what she should have done was taken pictures of it when it was clean

now that would have been something to remember

Well, looking back now I actually find it quite hysterical, and am quite literally laughing out loud as I look at these pictures.

I was thinking about the messy person I used to be today, then whilst looking all around me the thought came to me:

not much has changed, mckenna.

So why not, for my future entertainment and for my future children's sake, take some pictures {just as my mom used to} of my house in it's very state. Not moving or cleaning up a single thing.

The images below will probably shock most of you and by posting them will paint a really bad picture of myself.
but oh well. {this is me in real life, right?}

Let me just say though, our house is usually in pretty good condition... but life is life... and my winter laziness is here to stay until spring comes.

but, I swear I've grown up, and grown out of the messy room thing.

{maybe just a little}

this one's for you mom.
{who always said I'd never get married with a room that looked like it did.}

I love you!

where to begin? humm.. let's just start in the kitchen ::

looks pretty good doesn't it?

well how 'bout taking a closer look ::

pots and pans piled up the wa-zoo and plates covered in crusty leftovers

here you'll find the lack of vacuuming that's been happening in our house {eh, for... I'd say it's been about 2 months}

crusty stove top::

the entrance/hallway leading from the kitchen to the living room::

you'll see here our cabinets that are yet to be hung on the wall as well as boxes full of super 8 camera supplies, an old computer, my shopping cart, and more boxes

next is the Living room ::

here you'll see how the blanket covers are untidy {probably haven't been tucked in over a week}

from all angles ::

the desk with heaps of piles ::

the hallway leading to the bedroom with more piles ::

the bedroom ::

with more piles ::

How did I get married? Honestly. He must not have known me very well. He must not have known that I was a slob. He must not have known that I would let myself go right around Valentines day. He must not have known that I would have 6 months of so not blonde re-growth, would stop wearing makeup (ahem and stop showering) for days on end, and worst of all would stop shaving my legs ::

dang.. it's too blonde, you can barely see it.

let's try a closer view to really put the embarrassment-post icing-on-the-cake ::

Well there you have it. My very own messy house.

If only it were like that game {click here to download it} I played in elementary school where you could click on the items to clean them up ::

Can you imagine?

One click shaving, one click dusting! That would be the life.

So, what does your house look like at this very moment?

If you are reading this, tag your it.

I found it!

2010-02-13T05:50:00.028-07:00

the song I am going to use in the talent show:

Can you believe that I haven't seen this movie yet?!
I really get out much, don't I?

{but that's besides the point}

This song has the exact atmosphere I was looking for and fits so well with the coreography I had begun.

Congrats to::

You'll be receiving a nice package with some German/Swedish goodies as a
'thank you'
for the reccomendation!

Please send your mailing info to::

mckenna.akebrand@gmail.com

& Thank you to Chloe and Kali who also made some other great music reccomendations!

--------

Here's the complete list of suggestions for you all to enjoy

{suggested by Nikki}
I Nikki knew I would like her pretty much just because she {Maia Hirasawa} is from Stockholm, and I am bias when it comes to Sweds.

{suggested by Nikki}
I love it!!!

{suggested by Chloe}
I wish I could have seen you and Sean dance at your wedding. This song is SO perfect!

{suggested by Kali}
I adore Regina!! She makes me happy, and also reminds me of the summer I spent in a car working for Napa autoparts. I still haven't listened to her new album. (Soon you'll all realise how out of touch I am.)

{suggested by Kali}
Soo CUTE!!

Thanks again friends!

I now live in a fish-bowl.

2010-02-11T11:16:00.001-07:00

I thought it was akward when they put up scafolding in front of our house, let's see, that was two weeks ago. It took some adjusting knowing that at any given moment a man could simply trot on by our bedroom window and greet us with a "how do you do?" at the break of dawn.

Let's just say I am grateful for curtains.

Yet still, the thought is nerve racking and simply an invasion of privacy.

But, it doesn't stop there.

This week, they've decided that not only the front of our house needed scafolding, but the back of it needs it as well.

Our apartment is now surrounded. Every window you peer through has the potential to be peered through or even breathed on, from the opposing side.

I may be washing my hands in the kitchen or taking a nap on the couch and a man with a hammer and a strong Dresden dialect could watch be watching, binnaculars completely unessesary.

It gets worse though.

All rooms have curtains, except one:

this really takes peeping-tom to a whole new level.

creairtive | a {vacker} etsy shop

2010-02-08T14:52:00.006-07:00

You've got to check out my friend Senja's {beautiful} etsy shop creairtive.

Senja grew up in Germany and is now living in georgous Sweden with her husband

{everybody sigh out of jealousy with me.}

I knew Senja a tinsy bit while she still lived here in Frankfurt but since then we've become secret admirers of eachothers work through our blogs. See her's here. And feel free to encourage her to post more often, it's obvious that she has a great eye for beautiful things and that she's been keeping it from us all since her last post in November.

{Shh don't tell, but her starting an etsy shop has actually been one of the reasons I wanted to start doing jewlery too. (Could I be anymore of a copycat? Goodness me.)}

She has great taste and uses such wonderful colours in her creations. It's no wonder I admire her. I mean, just look::

my current essen obsession + new musik february + teensy giftaway

2010-02-08T13:45:00.009-07:00

Swedish Knäcke Rågi

{Crisp Rye Bread}

It's a great thing having a Swedish sister-in-law stay at your house.

You are instantly introduced to those things you see at the store yet never really thought to try out.

And let me just describe in detail what I put on it

just to give you a taste {no pun intended} of what types of things I get over at the Nettomarkt

{and because I like to google search images of food}

......

I've been eating mine with Tilsit cheese

atop a thin layer of Lätta butter

{well margarine}

and just today tried adding a bit of {putenbrust schnitten} turkey breast slices

and Oh was it a delight!

another thing she introduced me to

The lovely Andrew Bird::

enjoy.

alright, well I am off to spend time with the hub and then begin the search for music to coreograph a small dance that I will do for the ward talent show at the end of the month.

Song suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

maybe an easy listening, gutair or piano-ish something-or-other with a singer that has a unique voice and good lyrics that I could use for a modern/lyrical dance

so basically, What's your favourite song at the moment?

{and just in case you need intensive to comment on my blog. ha ha.}

I'll send you a package of swedish bread to try, along with my favourite tea if I use your song for my coreography or pretty much if I just like it a lot.

I hope to know by Thursday morning {German time} Wednesday evening {U.S. time}
So get to suggesting.

And I have no problem if you decide to suggest more than one.

:)

I am a rain puddle in a bucket.

2010-02-07T16:26:00.003-07:00

I apologise immidiately, as it seems that all I write about are my goals. This'll be the last post {at least for a while} with a long list of goals.

I'm starting to feel I am wasting so much time writing what I desire to do rather than just actively doing what I desire to do. Although, for my own sake, and for the sake of anyone who is interested or might even find inspiration in my creative process, I will continue to write lists here and there. And as I accomplish these tasks, it will be great to look back and see when it was these ideas were flowing through my head, and when it was I shared them with you for your support.

Every single day it seems there is another rain drop added to my bucket of creative aspirations. Especially on Sunday's when I seem to revaluate where I am, and what I am working on, more and more ideas seem to come and I get a bit overwhelmed. Seriously, I only have so much personal time and also a love for sleep and a love to spend time with my love. So... (big sigh) I will pace myself, and a little by little every day I will accomplish the following::

in photography/design/business/blog life::

. image selection, portfolio design and letter of intent
. formulate my business idea; design advertisments, logo, brochure, cards, and film the commercial (that Josef's going to direct) for it
. start a photography tutorial-post regimine on måke | memoirs
. design my website
. revamp my photography blog
. learn more about mannatach nutrition suppliments and decide if I will become an associate or not
. start working with film & poloroid cameras
. this is a lesser priority but I'd like to cook/bake something new once a week/every two weeks/monthly {seeing as I have been cooking very little lately}
. jewlery making [already started]
. painting
. sew my 'dream summer dress' before summer

in my personal realm::

. call & chat with my mom (weekly/biweekly), sister(s) & best friend (at least monthly) and be sure to write/call/message my close friends/family (at least bimonthly)
. make sure to comment on the blogs I read
. vacuum/clean the house more (way more) frequently
. snuggle & kiss my swede every single chance I have
. spend time more wisely on the computer
. go to bed before the usual 12 or later

So now {this is for you}

What drops are in your creative bucket?

or if it's easier {fill in the following blank}

a. (like you, mckenna) wish I was

or b. (if you aren't like me) am currently

excersicing my creativity by ______________ .

have a good rest of the day my U.S.ies

gute nacht meine deutche und swedische freunde

jumping on the jewlery making bandwagon.

2010-02-05T13:42:00.001-07:00

up next::

headbands. illustrations. måke photographie prints. children's book writing/illustrating. novel.

etsy. {maybe}

what do you think?

how did you start? what are your creative goals?

it's time.

2010-02-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

for me to own one of these:

because walking to work, ain't workin' for me.

2 bahn streik's in a week.

in the winter.

ice. snow. wind. up hill both ways.

catch my drift.

monday, at least the tram got me half way. but the bus.

oh, yeah, not going to come.

friday, nada.

bus. tram. u-bahn. s-bahn.

Nothing, NICHT!

car? nope.

bike? not in function.

nike express? sure, what choice to do i have?

did I mention walking takes 40 minutes.

biking takes 30.

tram/bus combo anywhere from 12-20 or even 30 minutes.

But with that cute little motor vehichle above

with traffic

it might, at the most take eh, about 7-10 minutes.

seriously.

Life Turmoil at the Red-Little-Man

2010-02-03T15:29:00.002-07:00

Getting off of the strassenbahn this morning was like any other morning.

I got off, flipped my head around, saw if the bus was there or not, then proceeded to the crossing to wait for that standing-red-little-man to turn into a walking-green-little-man.

Yet, today there was snow. Snow that melted just enough to turn into ice.

Only one head flip and a blink went by when the guy in front of me who was upright when I last saw his black leathered back, euro light-washed jean pockets, and the white puma courgars on his ancles, was now swiping the icey gravel with his hip and right shoulder. He let out a grunt of dissaproval while arrising without attendance from anyone and I could only feel that fear of embarrasment, that I have imagined would come over me in the instance that he presently experianced.

I peered around wondering if anyone would console him or make a comment such as "ist alles okay?" "ghet's?" {"you alright?"} I only had compassion for him at that moment. And there I stood just as everyone else.

Silent.

Yet also feeling that urge to pat him on the back and say, just that; "You alright?"

And so I found myself waiting for the green little man, with that continued tugging inside. How do I say that in German?, was my first stupor. Then came the varieties of German words I know, attempting to make combinations that would make sence and sound "local." It was slowly followed by the thought 'well I can't do it now,' what felt like hours after the instance. Still not knowing exactly how to band-aid embarrasment in German.

I am sure I wasn't the only one who felt that way, or maybe I was. Yet, be it a matter of culture or of city-life, the unwritten German rule to not say a courtious thing to anyone, anywhere, was cause for great turmoil in my life today. The same turmoil I faced on my first day in a German grocery store.

No cheesey elevator music, carts with unfixed front wheels, and no one who says 'excuse me,' or 'sorry,' or 'can I just squeese by you real quick?' Not a single word. Nothing. Just gestures of silent anticipation and sometimes impatiant aggrivation. I'm really in a hurry to get those eggs and get out of here with the most minimal human interaction possible, is the attitude.

Now take a moment and think about the american stereo-type of 'all american's are loud.' Blatantly true or not, we are outspoken people. We go to the store and if someone is in our path we express ourselves and gosh-darnit we say 'excuse me,' 'pardon me.' And without thinking twice about it, the person moves, unbothered, uneffected. It's that simple.

Yet here, oh boy, if you pip-a-squeek, you get a glare.

I look back now, only hours later and already I see future lextures with my grandchildren that will go somewhat like this: "What I hesitated to do on the ice that day, I'm not proud of, but dearies I learned a valuable life lesson: Don't ever hesitate to comfort someone in need of comfort, even if it's culturally unaccepted and not in your native language. You'll save yourself years of anguish."

what's in a purse?

2010-02-02T13:06:00.003-07:00

that by any another purse would be as euro-esque.

i'm attempting two new things in my life and revealing them within this very post.

{oh, boy how privelaged you are to be amoungst this blog-o-sphere on this very day}

1stly:: taple-top photography

never done it before and made my first attempt at it last tuesday

2ndly:: more tid-bits of life, and tid-bits of europe

figured since a few of you have begged and pleaded asked for more peeks into my ever so uninteresting european life, i thought i'd give you just that.

and since i'm not all for going out in the blizzard that has been the entire last half of january, and seems to be continuing until april,

just to take pictures and only possibly live to download them, edit them, and post them.

i thought i'd start within my snuggy warm home

better yet, my purse.

here are the basics::

.watch .favorite rose earrings .moleskin pocket calendar .scarf .must have i.d. {passport} with residence permit inserted .bank card .insurance card .mula .train pass .very euro tampons .sunglasses & .keys

alright, so i have to admit. more of this is to just show off: my mad photo skills, the adoreable scarf that i got for 2 euros, my love for the strike-out text feature, how un-cool euro tampons are, the multiple stamps in my passport, the sunglasses that i actually don't carry in my purse and only wear in the summer, my national-rail ticket from england, and how cool euros are vs. dollars.

well, uh. yeah. that's what's in my purse.

since we last spoke...

2010-01-30T09:35:00.002-07:00

i've

- recovered from an illness

- made it obvious to you what other "illness" accompanied my 7 days on the couch {can you believe it? as if 5 days of death-fever wasn't enough. Unglaublich!}

- had an entire 2 weeks without internet

- loved the freedom

- had a sister-in-law move to germany from the u.s.

- adored her company

- talked a lot about art with her {an art major}

- taken some table-top images of {nessisities of a european purse} which you see {a preview} above and {more} in another post

- thought a bit about my creative potential and how i am going to utalize it by spending less time on the internet and more time with family and also use my hands to create more tangable art than vurtual art

- had a female only dine out at lokalbahnhof eating delicious schnitzel

- finished lost season 5 & started season 1 again

- watched penelope again {and afterwords thought how i should write a post about all of the things that I could watch, listen to, or do repetably}

- such as how i will go to primark when i am finished making this list

so i'll speak to you again soon.

Happy {Snowy} Weekend!

hi-ya blog buttons

2010-01-30T08:00:00.009-07:00

just so you know

i didn't slack off on måke | memoirs

during my un-internet week this past week

i made some super cute illustrator creations if i say so myself

you'll notice the new blog button available on the right hand side

feel free to add it to your own blog

{I mean... if you like me enough to put me on your blog}

or select from any of these buttons below::

silly me::

2010-01-20T07:40:00.002-07:00

I totally forgot to add these pics to this post.

This is the home that we live in.

Aint it cute?

We live above a greek restruant but have never eaten there. So if you come for a visit, we'd have a reason to go. There's also a Vietnamese restraunt next door, suppose to be really good, never been there either.

Silly us.

Speaking of food that I absolutely don't desire.

Besides to fill these hunger pains.

I'd like go die on my death bed {the incredibly uncomfortable couch.}

because I am still sick.

And going to call me mami for some comfort.

Since I can't have the ONLY thing I deeply desire in the food catergory right now...

If that ain't TORTURE, I don't know what is!

the photographer's streak.

2010-01-19T00:31:00.002-07:00

you've either got it. or you don't.

formspring.me

2010-01-18T11:46:00.002-07:00

what's your favorite non-touristy place in germany?

I've been pondering this question all day and have ended up with several answers::

1. My home (apartment.) {Compfy and cozy and a huge blessing in our lives because we've basically built it from scratch.}
2. Mario und Lino. Pizza restrant around the coner {No doubt is the BEST in Frankfurt}
3. Lokalbahnhof. German restraunt with modern interior in Sachsenhausen {Arrguably the best Schnitzel in Frankfurt.}
4. The trains, metro, trams, and busses. {A nice place to people watch and get to where you need to go conveiniently.}

And for kicks {real touristy spots}::
The Rhein River and the castles that line it.
The lime-green rolling hills with scattered yellow and white flowers in the spring.
Heidelberg.
Any where that hosts castles and half-timbered houses. {Basically anywhere and everywhere in Germany}

All STUNNING!

Ask me anything

photo fever | my daily surroundings

2010-01-18T11:30:00.002-07:00

good morning, afternoon, evening {whatever time it is where you are}::

It's 6:30 pm here and I've been on the couch reading Twyla Tharp's | The Creative Habit, Journal writing, yoga-bible studying, and zoneing out all day. I've got a fever of 38.1 (celcius).

And it's my day off.

Don't worry I'm used to the irony. I was sick last Thanksgiving break too. But a promise is a promise and I'm getting these pics up.

I've had a wonderful weekend. I've gotten most of the things done on my {list for the long weekend} and feel quite accomplished to say the least. Have you noticed my stinkin' adoreable little teacup in the URL? Chloe was a doll and helped me out, after I had been working on it all Saturday. I LOVE IT!

Thanks Chloe!

Alright lets get on to the pics already, before I make this any longer than it's already going to be. Ei yi yi!

-------------------

This is my front door. What I leave behind when I leave the house. That on the right:: our old sink and countertop. On the left, my grey converse that Josef got me in NYC, and our most recent shopping cart. (RIP Cart Åkebrand)

This is the door I exit and enter, to imerge myself in the cold world. Down 2 flights of stairs I travel to get to this point.

This is the light switch I use upon entering in the dark of the night. These are the textured walls, I run my fingers along. {Ok, maybe I don't. But humor me on this one, it's poetic and produces a nice image of accknowledging my surroundings.}

This is my view as I exit that door and peer to the right. Straight ahead is the marriot {just around the corner} and the Messe Turm {or in other words the "bleistift turm" (pencil tower: as the Locals call it)}

This is the Straßenbahn I wait for hours for {because it's always late} or on occasion run for {because it's sometimes early.}

This is the tram that takes me to work. This is the luxury of living on Schloßstraße {a stop right in front of our house}

This is where I don't buy my ticket because I have a Job-ticket which lasts me all year.

This is the time-table the tram never runs by. {Every 10 minutes when you don't need to be anywhere, every 20 minutes when you do.}

This is the air I breath.

Netto {Used to be called 'Plus'} is the store I shop at.

{Now open until 10 Monday-Saturday (WOW, that's late!) Used to be open 'til 8 Mo-Sa (Ugh, that was early.}

These are the glass containers. {Can you see my house and how close it is to Netto?}

This is the way things are done in the city, when you don't have a car. {Oh yeah and, they don't bag your items here. You can pay 25¢ for a plastic one or 1€ for a linen one and bag it yourself.} (One day I am going to get on film how fast the run your items through the register. Oh man, it took me a long time to get good at bagging my own things as quickly as she was running them through. Bo-ah!)

This is "Spermüll" {Spare trash} you'll see on the streets {Typically on a Monday.} Feel free to take it or leave it before it gets picked up by the trash guys. This is the pile that Josef and I should sneak our countertop into. He he.

This is a conveiniant store across the street where you can enter 'Lotto,' {They're at 11 mill, right now! "Ya-hoo" (said with a thick amount of sarcasm,) can drop off a packet to be delivered, pick up the local newspaper, and even buy gum for almost a euro a pack. {"Soooo, convienient."} Behind it is a pharmacy {Apotheke} for all of your drug needs, and a German restruant with offering up a mighty large Schitzel and Bratkartoffel.

This is me un-sick and about to not burn up, even to the point where you could say the exact opposite, about to freeze and on my way inside, with the Polizei station right behind me.

Tschüss Ya'll! It's time for me to lay down.

Although I am sure I won't, there's still so many things I want to do.

Argh, fever, you're ticken-me-off.

raclette | Sonntag

2010-01-17T12:24:00.002-07:00

Look what we found at Netto on Saturday evening::

I have wanted one of these babies when our friends invited us over once and shared this Swiss delight with us.

Needless to say I have been looking for one ever since.

And lucky us, we went the other plus further down the street that's bigger and has more selection.

We didn't see a price, but I insisted that we get it. Cause I'm a spender like that.

Josef was a little more cautious and said "We can't afford it."

{Humm.. did we switch roles or what?}

He assumed it was pretty pricey (30,00 - 35,00 euro)

But I insisted that it was 20,00 at the most.

So we took a bet.

And I won!

Since we were in the mood for betting we also bet on how much our total purchase would be.

I lost.

So we're even. But nevertheless::

{Oh yeah and we invited our friend from upstairs}

't was Lecker-Schmecker!

Took some pics today::

2010-01-16T12:06:00.003-07:00

I know you are proud. It's not like I ever take pictures. I'm still figuring out how to upload and size my pics to fit the new blog design. So this pic is just a test. I'll be posting the pics and stories that go along with them {either} this evening, or on Monday.

For now I need to run to Netto, before Josef gets back with our movie rental of
Lost {Season 5 disc 3}

What should I pick up for dinner tonight? Frozen pizza or Mario und Lino Pizza?
Alright, you don't have to pull my arm about it::
Pizza from Mario and Lino it is!

See you lay-ta.