going back home to my love-land.

I just purchased a plane ticket today. (sung to the tune of na-na na-na na-na) Me, I'm stinkin' extactic. I finally get to see friends, and family (or family of friends, same thing right?) It's been over a year, almost 2 years. Humm, let me think...The last time I saw my love-land was in March of 2008. You remember right?

Well, now I get to go back!!

Okay, okay, you want a hint as to where right?

This one will completely give it away

November fourth through eleventh, I'll be in England baby!!

I'll be flying into Manchester, were my best friends Rachel has been serving an LDS mission for the past year and a half. Me, Rachel and her family will meet up, and hang around Manchester for a few days then head off to London and stonehenge.

Can't wait. Seriously, Can. Not. Wait.

Kevin McAllister for the Weekend.

I typed up a self-pity version of this post last night, right after Josef left for the weekend to Bremen with the chior, and I scrapped the whole thing.

I'd like to be a bit more candid, and just down right say how I feel without begging for my viewer's comments, for comfort. I find myself getting so dissapointed when I don't get them. Being alone for the weekend doesn't help the fact that friends in the flesh, and friends thousands of miles away (no matter how close the internet makes you,) are just not the same. What I need are female friends here in real life and not here on "social" networks. It makes me sick to think about it.

I have a bipolar relationship with loneliness. Most of the time when I have a few minutes alone before Josef gets home, or when he is out for a bit I get some (and by some I mean very little) things done. I also find myself stalling, just waiting eargerly for him to get home. Yet, when he does come home, most of the time I continue doing what I was doing before he arrived, wishing I had more alone time to finish those things. I long for him, yet when he's here I get caught up in doing my thing and the novelty of having him arround fades.

Same goes when I think about having friends. I long so much to go shopping with a friend, have a girl's nights out, spend time with someone who'll listen, understand, look me in the face and tell me that she faces the same fears, and has hope for the same things. And yet, I sit here in all of my lonliness and I reject the idea of making friends. I embrace my time to be alone, I waste the time, and yet I cherish the time I have to wallow in self pity. It's like I thrive on being miserable.

If I could punch my brain in the face I absolutely would (even though it doesn't have feeling.) It just ticks me off that I am like this. And yet I indulge in being so contradictory. It's how I have always been. (Really. Wow, I hope a pshycologist doesn't read this, I can only assume that they'd have a pretty obnoxious comment.) (And yet, I'd be curious to see what one would say.)

I am my greatest antagonist.


Or maybe I'm just entirely out of wack.

Well. My thoughts have just dried up.

Hope you have a good weekend. I feel much better now.

Move over 'Twilight' the Adults will take it from here.

The season for fear is here. And I have witnessed last night, the most gloriously-beautiful flavor of horror, to suit the spirit of thrill, terror, and

child-like love.

'Låt den rätte komma in' (Let the right one in)

A movie that far surpasses this obnoxious 'Twilight' trend. Putting the vampire medium in an entirely exquisit dimension. No pitter-pattering heart over an unattainable high-school aged dream-boat, with super powers and a gorgeous facial structure. Låt den rätte komma in shows love in its innocence and life in its corruption. The frailities of human existence, fears faced in adolescence, broken homes, and the tragedy of loving someone despite their vile comportment.

Based on the Swedish book, the fim (also Swedish in origin) was beautifully crafted with very little special effects and simple imagry. Filmed in Stockhom with stunning angles, scenes, with mind blowing child actors, and spine chilling gore.

May you never look at another Twilight film the same way again.

The entire film is available in Swedish with English subtitles here on youtube. {Although, don't say I didn't warn you, this film is categoriezed as a 'horror' film, and has some pretty grafic images. So please beware.} You may want to dip your feet in, by watching the trailer here.

Njut!

some morning tea | for you

drink up

i bought

this shirt and jeans in this style (different shade of dark blue.)

For a killer deal at (ahem) do I even need say it?

H&M

I know it gets old for you to hear about it, but seriously can't find any better styles for any better prices on this side of the globe anywhere.

So just deal. Ok?

Now this isn't really about what I bought, but rather that I walked into H&M on my lucky day.

all jeans were 10 euros off.

+

A nice little coupon handed to me by an employee stating that if I buy 2 items I get 20% off one of the items. And not the cheaper item either, like they do it in the states. You buy something for 24,90 and another something for 1,00 euro, you get 20% off the 24,90 item. Voila!

So the jeans, natürlich, weren't all I got.


I got Josef a pair of sexy, make my mann's butt look hot jeans.
+
A light turquoise scarf
+
a new turquoise over-the-shoulder purse-like messenger bag
+
2 pairs of rose earrings in black and red
+
a little change left in my pocket
=
Oh how I adore that.

i saw

the time travelers wife this last week.

Yes, I was able to drag my husband to a chick flick and he from a film point of view thought it was ''A good film. It had some great shots and good actors.'' From my point of view let me just put it this way::

"Fabulous."
"Better than the book!"

The actor's chosen were perfect for the roles and the true love story that wasn't as evident in the book was portrayed. The book was more about descriptive sex, foul language and drugs. A bit too "real life" for my taste. When is comes to a love story I want it to be dream-like romantic, tragic and hopeful packed into beautiful imagery, and high moral. So in other words, the movie was just that. I do give credit to Audry Niffinegger for the incredible story and intricate flow within the book, I was never bored reading it.

No spoiling, but the end of the book and the end of the movie were quite different. I'd actually like to thank the film writers for that one. Much more emotionally satifying rather than emotionally damaging and depressing. And what a nice touch with the beautiful carol 'Es ist ein ros entsprungen' surely the credit goes to the German director Robert Schwentke. I must admit 'I got a little misty' (I'd apprechiate it if you didn't mention that to anyone) so some tissues would be a good thing to let tag along inside your purse (or for you men, your man-bag.)

late night thoughts

evening all.

it's 1:48 here, and early evening for you there.

i'm tired and yet this is the only time this week that i have had for just, me.

life lately, exspecially this week, has been filled with simple and deep stresses and tasks. i am constantly multi-tasking everything or cramming a whole bunch into a day, or an hour or less.

in retrospeckt


Today: still awake, know josef is sound asleep in the room next to me. set my status on facebook. uploaded 60+ pics to photobucket for a school slideshow. did my newsletter and plan for next week. met with michael luik to talk about coreographing for an E.A. Poe multimedia/theater production with josef. watched GC. edited some more. ate at mario & lino with jenna, and misty. edited some super great senior pics of session i had on tuesday. listened and feel asleep to the deepness of josef's voice reading me 'the fall of the house of usher'. ate breakfast that josef made. took a shower. woke up.

Yesterday: slept. ate dinner. came home. got off work. worked. did some prep at work. went to work. woke up.

Thursday: slept. exhausted. ate 4 cubes of a chocolate bar on the train laying of josef's arm. was unsuccessful at shoe shopping, and clothing shopping for the both of us. payed 15 euros for 4 passport photos. restocked our EMPTY, EMPTY fridge/freezer/cabinants. went to aldi, dm, and ihr platz to get the last of the nessesities. went to plus for milk, meat, eggs, etc. cleaned up the bathroom a bit. cleaned the EMPTY fridge. got ready. woke up.

Wednesday: slept. ate dinner. came home. got off work. worked. did some prep at work. got paid. went to work. woke up.

Tuesday: slept. ate dinner. went and saw 'the time traveler's wife'. ate an organic burger. went to a thrift store. had a milk shake at mcD's. edited a bit. spent much needed time with my handsome one. had a senior portrait session. got ready. woke up.

Monday: slept. ate dinner. came home. got off work. worked. did some prep at work. went to work. woke up.

Sunday: slept. read intro to the BofM, the testimony of the 3, the 8, and Josef Smith with josef. spent the late evening with josef. josef finally got home. ate chicken curry. made chicken curry. waited for josef. came home from church. sung in church chior. lead primary singing time. sacrament meeting. rode s-bahn to church by myself. got ready. woke up. said goodbye to josef as he went off early in the morning to vocalis practice. slept.

Now: it's now 2:18 and i'm just torturing myself. I haven't been up this late in months. I now have heart burn and have been trying to ignore my stomache that cannot seem to get full. for the last two days it's been hungry ALL THE TIME. before, during, and after i eat. it's unbearable. well, i've done it. i've written. i've posted. i've finished my tasks.

and now...

i will..
.
.

crash.

(right after i link the pictures)


gute nacht.

when i should be doing other things

i am online window shopping.

Lirola has georgous jersy-knit peices that are so feminine, and so need to be in my waredrobe, or rather so on my body every single day.

i am also in dire want for one of these wrap cardigan's like so:

i want to wear this one now. found {here}

would love to wear this one when i'm prego someday

and it'd be fabulous to wear this one in the aftermath of being prego.

both found {here} at old navy, believe it or not. although, no luck on finding them in non-prego, non-plus sizes there. I guess they didn't understand that every-body wants to wear one. just not fair.

So how was your friday evening and saturday morning? saturday is almost over for me and i haven't even left the house once, i haven't gotten out of my pjs, i took a nap while watching a hidi romance movie, i ate eggs and oatmeal cookies for breakfast {we are out of bread} and a nice and oniony flammkuchen for lunch, the sun is almost set at 19:35, and i'm feeling mopey and overwhelmed with life, every little thing makes me stressed and this is my way of pushing it aside: window shopping. how enlightening, right?!

Do you ever feel like this?

Oh, boy. Well I better get to finishing some loose ends with planning for next week or else my stress will never alliviate.

Good night. or good day, for most of you.

It's time for some kammille tea.

What I've been doing all weekend?

Started a foundation to help a friend in need. {hopeforholli}

What I did this evening?

Realized that they really make it difficult to do so.

Charity, isn't easy these days. What happened to the honour system? Anyway, I will not let the legalities of the situation get me down, I will find a smooth and simple way to accept donations on behalf of the Hope for Holli foundation and will get the ball rolling quickly, so that Holli can get what she needs ASAP!

As for other things. Art school applying is going, or rather not going at all. I really need to improve my portfolio, but I'm never in the creative mood and inspiration is just not flowing these days. If only I had one of those little light bulbs with a pull string at this very moment.

I haven't taken real pictures in over 2 weeks, and honestly that is a complete disgrace, concidering the blood, sweat, and tears that went into getting my glory. Arrgh (in honour of speak like a pirate day, yesterday). I'm frustrated... and yet hopeful that things will fall into place. Some how or another.

Well for me it's off to bed. 3rd night in a row before 11:00, wow! I'm on a roll.

Good night Monday.

i'm still up

a statement said often to myself.

stupid, addictive, computer.


so for the last hour, that i should have been in bed starting the recovery process. i'm instead filling mulitple tissues with products of a runny nose and editing photos that serve no purpose. other than to waste my time of course.

ah, the unbalanced life. isn't it great?